Chapter 1
Moonlight, not bright: that is the night, Oxford blue. All through the sunset, no matter the sunset. The song of the sky plays deep and long. On our backs, maybe our sides, we succumb to paralysis and dance on the edge of death. However, only she knows the truth about this world. Only Josephine can see. She smells Hell’s bells round by the king’s roar.
Josie is awake. This was a status she maintains even through the night. When her father turns in after reading the paper, Josie is awake. When her mother is finally done cleaning around the house, Josie is awake. When her sister is sound asleep, warmth spreading between her legs and a smile on her face, Josie is awake.
Sometimes, when everyone else in the house is fast asleep, Josie walks throughout their home. Everything is exactly as it was when the sun set, and that is as it stays until the sun rises. She would never think to disturb anything. Josie respects the night, the two of them are in this together.
For as long as Josie recalled, every waking minute of her parent’s lives have been spent praising their precious Emma. And so, when the sun retreats and the moon emerges, the sleeping minutes of their parent’s lives belong to Josie.
Josie once saw this as a horrible thing. Her parents didn’t love her, they didn’t have any time for her. But during her seven years she came to accept this as the way things were and embraced her situation.
This was the world Josie lived in. The sun would rise and everyone would move around her, not noticing her at all. And then the sun would set and no one was around. And that is the time when Josie ruled the world.
* * *
“It doesn’t just mean we’ll have more money,” Kenneth Sheppard stood at the head of the table, a glass of wine held up high. “I can finally make a difference and bring new stores to the mall and make Harmony Hills a bigger and better place to live.”
“Yay, daddy!” Emma clapped her hands.
Josie kept eating.
“Thank you, Emma!” their dad said. He then turned to their mother and began talking about all the new ideas he had for the mall.
Josie looked at her sister. She imagined herself picking a pea off her plate and hurling it across the table. It would hit Emma in the cheek, catch her completely caught off guard. Even though their parents weren’t paying attention to Josie, Emma would make a fuss, scream and cry. Josie would lose her worthless TV privileges and acquire a handful of minutes in time out. And none of that would change the way anything happens in the house.
Josie decided against hitting Emma. She needed to eat. That was more important at the moment. If she had decided to assault her sister at the table, she would be sent away without her dinner. There were never any snacks in the house that Josie liked, everything was stocked with what Emma wanted so she really only ate her three meals a day.
Emma got whatever she wanted. She got to pick out the snacks they bought, the clothes they wore, and she doesn’t even have to use the bathroom anymore like a real person. Whenever Josie has to pee she gets up and has to miss what they are doing. Emma can just do it in her pants, because the first born gets it their way.
After dinner, Josie locked herself in her room and played with Emma’s old toys for a bit. She put on Emma’s old pajamas and, since it was too early to crawl into Emma’s old bed, she went downstairs to watch Emma’s favorite shows.
Everything Josie owned were things Emma had cast away as she aged. And yet, as Josie continues to receive old and used clothes, Emma is allowed to throw away her underwear up to three times a day.
Josie had thought about it before. She could easily feign incontinence, wet her bed or have accidents in school. Apparently that is what it takes to get her parent’s attention.
However, Josie did not care for the attention of the individuals she was randomly assigned to come out of. She was more interested in taking things away from Emma.
Some days, when Emma would go off to shower, Josie thought to sneak into her sister’s room and hide, even throw away, her precious Pull-Ups. Sometimes she even had the courage to do it, but the fear would sink in and she would return them before Emma noticed.
After TV time was over, the girls were sent away to their rooms. For Josie, there still remained a few more hours before the rest of the world went to sleep, and she would be left alone in her kingdom.
Chapter 2
Josie walked with her mother through the grocery store. It was one of her least favorite activities. Exploring the waking world, crammed with people walking around in the light. And worst of all they were just buying things Emma liked.
Emma likes Oreos with vanilla cookies, so that’s what Josie had to eat. Emma liked grape juice instead of orange, so that’s what Josie had to drink. Emma liked peeing in her pants for fun, so they bought her diapers and Josie has to keep using the toilet.
Josie hated walking down the baby aisle, seeing all the gross food in tiny jars and the all the weird medical items that reminded her of the sick and dying babies she sees on late night television. And of course Josie hates going near the diapers.
Her mother would grab Emma’s favorite, the largest size of Pull-Ups that came in pink with adorable Disney characters on them. The whole point of those characters was to discourage children from wetting them. Emma liked them more than the generic brand that just had butterflies and rainbows on them.
As Josie watched her mother drop the package in their shopping cart she was relieved to finally move on to anywhere else in the world.
They picked up a month’s supply of frozen foods, essential hygiene items such as toothpaste and toilet paper (designed for three fourths of the Shepard family) and eventually made their way to the produce, the last stop on their quest.
“Wait here with the cart,” Josie was told as her mother walked off.
Freedom? No. Josie hated standing in one spot. She would rather move around than stand in one spot for what will probably be a very long time.
As Josie tried to lean against the ever shifting cart, she saw herself being approached by a group of girls from her class. Josie didn’t care about friendships. They benefitted her in no way. She had no problem sitting alone at lunch or wandering the playground by herself at recess. In truth, any friends she had were people who liked her and wanted to hang out with her. They invited her to things. They wanted to spend time with her. If they stopped, Josie wouldn’t mind.
Unfortunately, those were not the girls who appeared before Josie today.
“Oh, hey,” Brigit said, “Hi, Josie.”
Josie said nothing.
“What is that?” Caroline said.
The girls looked into Josie’s shopping cart. When she realized what they were looking at, she wanted to pluck out their tongues and cut off their fingers.
“Are those Pull-Ups?” Caroline asked.
“OMG they are!” Brigit declared. “I thought you were potty trained, Josie?”
“Oh god,” Caroline stepped away, “Do you think she is wearing one right now?”
“Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!” Caroline said, “I bet she poops in them too!”
“Ewwwwwww!” Brigit squealed.
“THEY’RE NOT MINE!” Josie blurted out.
The girls stopped.
“There for my sister,” she added.
“Oh,” the girls said in unison.
“Wait a minute,” Brigit said, “Isn’t your sister in the fourth grade?”
“You expect us to believe that your older sister who probably doesn't even fit in Pull-Ups wears them instead of you?” Caroline asked.
“Yeah,” Brigit went on, “You’re the one who peed in your pants in school like four years ago.”
Josie thought that was an idiotic claim. Her relationship with the night has granted her a vast memory. She remembered that four years ago she was only three, fresh out of potty training. Her only such in school bladder accident ever had occurred in what was technically known as day care. Brigit on the other hand was a few months younger than Josie and had still been wearing Pull-Ups to school the day of Josie’s accident. Brigit had clearly only remembered the details that pertained to her insult at hand.
“Come on,” Caroline grabbed her friend, “We have to go tell everyone we’ve ever met.”
Josie, who hadn’t said a word, stood there as a pair of seven year olds went away to destroy her social standing.
Josie suddenly found herself thinking and planning. She got an idea. It wasn’t going to solve her current problem, but it was certainly guaranteed to succeed and make her life better. She was going to give Emma, and all of her friends, exactly what they wanted.
Chapter 3
The old shed deep in the woods was a mystery to the children of Harmony Hills. No one’s parents claimed it as their own and it was built so far from anyone’s property line that no one could figure out if it ever belonged to a specific house. It was simply an enigma that they boys would occasionally hang out in.
That is why Susie found it strange when she received a mysterious note telling her to meet there. She was weary, but had nothing better to do on a weekend so she didn’t think anything horrible would happen.
When Susie arrived, she found Lilly and Mimi standing at the shed as well, with Emma arriving from the other direction.
“So you guys all got a strange note too?” Susie asked as they all presented the letters that were all written on the same stationary with the same handwriting.
“Maybe they’re inside?” Emma motioned to the shed.
“I’m not going in there,” Mimi said. “It’s crazy.”
“You’re crazy,” Lilly said, “And I’m bored anyway.”
Lilly opened the door and walked in. The shed had glass windows, some broken, so light was able to get in. Other than that there wasn’t much except some old tools lying around. She stepped inside, and the others followed.
“Now what?” Susie asked.
The door suddenly slammed behind them and shut. THe girls all quickly turned back around as the sound of a lock moving into place was heard.
“Did we just get locked in a shed?” Mimi asked.
“Of course not,” Emma said as she tried to the nob. “Oh wait. Yeah, we did.”
“Somebody is messing with us, then? Right?” Susie asked.
“Nick and the boys,” Lilly said. “They’re always scheming things like this. They have a whole plan to kidnap us and tie us to trains. I never thought they would actually do it.”
“So what is the plan?” Emma asked. “We starve to death?”
“Nah,” Lilly said. “If anything they’ll let us out after dark so we get in trouble when we walk home late.”
“I’m not hungry anyway,” Susie said, “I just had a big lunch with a tall glass of lemonade and… Oh no.”
“What?” Emma asked as Susie stopped.
“We’re going to have to go to the bathroom soon,” Susie said. The others gasped.
“If they want me to wet my pants in fear,” Mimi declared, “Then they’re too late!”
The others looked down at Mimi’s dry pants. she rolled her eyes.
“I’m wearing a Pull-Up, obviously,” she said.
“Well I’m not,” Susie said. “And it was a really tall glass.”
“Me neither,” Lilly said, “But I don’t need to pee.”
Emma felt the Pull-Up between her legs, it was already warm and damp. “I’m fine,” she said.
And then it began to rain.
Chapter 4
“I mean, let’s be honest here,” Lilly said, “Worse case scenario is we pick a corner and call it the bathroom until we get out of here.”
Susie was trying to get the lock open, to no avail.
“Will any of our parents think to look for us in here?” Mimi asked.
“We probably won’t end up sleeping here,” Emma said.
“If we do we’re going to have a bigger problem than where we pee,” Lilly said. “I didn’t drink any lemonade today, but I did have two chilli dogs.”
“This is why you’re fat,” Mimi said.
“I am not fat!” Lilly spat back.
“You don’t even fit in Emma’s Pull-Ups, do you?” Mimi asked.
“I do!” Lilly got up in Mimi’s face.
“Guys, stop!” Emma said as she got between them. “This is what they want. To make us fight.”
“I thought they wanted us to pee in our pants,” Susie asked.
“That’s too juvenile,” Emma said, “If that was the plan they would’ve held us down and tickled us.”
“That is more Nick’s style,” Lilly admitted. “This is too extreme, even for him.”
“I’m gonna pee my pants,” Susie said, “Aren’t I?”
“No!” Emma said, “We’re gonna get out of this and go home and pee wherever it is we want. But not in our pants.”
Light flashed outside, the storm was getting worse. The girls looked up out the window. A moment later, there was a roar of thunder. And then an odder began to fill the room.
Susie looked at Emma. Emma looked at Mimi. Mimi looked at Susie. They all look at Lilly.
“I tried to hold it,” she said.
“It’s okay,” Emma said. “Just… Uhm.” Emma didn’t know what to do. They didn’t have a change of clothes or anywhere to dispose of what was now overflowing from Lilly’s underwear. Emma was at a complete loss.
“We should just sit down and wait I guess,” Susie said.
“I think I’ll stand,” Lilly said.
Emma and Mimi squished their wet Pull-Ups against wooden floor as Susie sat next to them, her very full bladder targeting her very dry pants.
“The last time I had an accident,” Susie said, “I was in second grade. I don’t remember specifically why it happened, but I remember having to pee, and then all of a sudden my pants were wet. I somehow managed to not be seen by anyone before I could tell a teacher. That’s normal for kids. No getting locked up during a storm. It just happened.”
“Do you want us to turn around so you can go in a corner?” Emma asked.
Susie tearfully shook her head. “It’s ok.” She pulled her legs up to her chest and buried her face in her knees. Emma watched as darkness spread across the seat of Susie’s pants and spread outward, forming a puddle around her.
“This isn’t fun,” Emma said. “I like wetting diapers but on purpose. Not when it’s an accident.”
“Unless it’s Penny,” Mimi said.
The rain was letting up.
Emma thought about that for a moment. “I can remember so many times when we would be playing with Penny and she would have to leave because she wet herself. I don’t know how I could ever have thought that was fun.”
“Whenever she would have to go home and change,” Mimi said, “Dad would spank her and she’d cry herself to sleep. She hated having to stop playing with you. And she hated not being able to go out the next day.”
Light poured back in through the windows.
“I hate this,” Emma was crying now. “I want to go back to the way things were. I want to be friends with Penny. I want to be able to play together.” She took a deep breath and said, “I don’t want to wear diapers anymore.”
Before anyone could say a word, the door was unlocked and opened. The girls turned around and slowly stood. As they were sitting, Emma and Mimi had both wet their Pull-Ups again, the resulting leaks made them look worse than Susie, who had strategically only wet the back of her pants.
A sudden sound of water splashing turned everyone’s heads to Lilly. She sighed as she finished wetting herself. “That feels good.”
“Lilly, why did you do that?” Emma asked.
Lilly turned around, showing off the browning bulge in her pants. “It’s not like this can get any worse. And if we’re all quitting diapers now I wanna get one last ride in.”
“We’re all quitting?” Mimi said?
“If Emma quits none of us can get diapers either,” Susie explained.
Mimi was not happy.
“It’s for the best,” Emma said. “Let’s get out of here.”
The girls stepped out of the shed, the fresh air covering up the messes they had all made for themselves. They stretched their legs and found themselves face to face with the person who had put them through all this.
Soaking wet from the rain, gripping the key to the shed, smiling a wide grin, standing before them, was none other than Josie.
Chapter 5
The psychologist’s office was cold. Josie sat on an unpleasant beige couch, staring blankly at the middle-aged woman seated across from her. The shelves were filled with large books with long titles. In the corner of the room sat child sized furniture and some toys and coloring supplies.
“Let me see if I got all this,” the psychologist said, “You locked your sister and her friends in a shed in the woods so they would have traumatic accidents in their pants and decide to stop wearing diapers… Forever?”
Josie nodded.
“What if someone had gotten hurt?” the psychologist asked, “Or you lost the key? I know you didn’t expect the storm but there is a chance they all could have been killed.”
Josie thought it over for a moment before she simply shrugged.
The psychologist did not flinch. “You’re not concerned for the lives of your sister or her friends?” She scribbled something onto a legal pad.
“I am not concerned about anything,” Josie said. “I don’t care if people like me or not. I don’t care if Emma is happy or not. I don’t care who lives or who dies. I don’t even particularly care about myself. No one else cares about me, so why should I care about them? Why should I care about myself? The populat of the Earth is estimated to be almost eight billion. It’s not like my single, tiny life means anything when compared to anyone else. I am sure if Emma died out there the whole town would come to her funeral. But if I died my parents would probably just give Emma my room. She already has a room, but this way she’ll have two.”
“What do you want, Josie?” the psychologist asked.
Josie was taken back. To her knowledge, she could not remember a single person ever asking her that before. She thought about it for a moment. What exactly did she want? Her mind was suddenly opening up to the countless possibilities, she didn’t know where to begin. She thought about it for a moment, and then came to an answer.
Josie had one idea.
***
Emma and her mother sat in the waiting room. The psychologist wanted to meet Emma first. She knew right away from the phone call that this was a case of of the younger child, Josie, acting out at the attention that the older child, Emma, was receiving.
The psychologist asked Emma why she wanted to wear diapers, and so Emma talked her ear off with the entire story.
Emma felt funny sitting in the waiting room while her younger sister was in there. She had no idea what they could’ve been talking about. Emma wanted to know what Josie had been thinking, because this kind of behavior was clearly unusual. but then again, Emma wasn’t exactly sure what kind of behavior was usual for Josie.
“Is Josie going to be okay?” Emma asked her mother.
“Of course, sweetie,” her mother asked.
“Is she in trouble?” Emma asked.
“No, sweetie,” was her mother’s answer.
“Am I in trouble?” Emma asked.
“No, sweetie.”
Emma knew that her actions had upset Penny, but she had no idea they could’ve been affecting her own sister like this. It was an even better reason to stop wearing them all together. She didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. No matter what the cost was.
The psychologist walked out of her office and said, “”She would like to speak with you.”
“I’ll be right back,” Emma’s mother stood and said.
“Sorry,” the psychologist said, “She would like to speak with Emma.”
Emma looked up at her mother, unsure of what to say or what to do. She didn’t know what would happen in that room. She didn’t know what her sister had to say. Emma wasn’t mad at Josie, just confused and unsure.
And now she had to face her.
***
That night, Emma curled up in bed, unsuspectedly finding herself in a Pull-Up. After getting home from the shed, Emma showered and put on panties and thought she would never again touch her relatively new package of disposable princess pants. But as she snuggled up under the blankets, winter in full force just outside her window, Emma was happy.
Josie snuggled next to her. The extra body under the covers heated them both up. Josie was more uncomfortable with the situation than she thought she would be. She was certainly more uncomfortable than Emma was.
It wasn’t because it had been a very, very long time since the two had shared a bed. It had simply been an even longer time since Josie found with a Pull-Up snug beneath her pajamas.
“It’s scratchy,” Josie said.
Emma giggled. “This was your idea. Besides, you get used to it,” she said. “I kinda like it. But it’s more about the padding in the middle. It’s comforting, protecting. Not just in case I have an accident, which I never do technically. It’s about that extra reassurance that I am what I am.”
“And what are you?” Josie asked.
“Loved,” Emma said. “Not just because mom and dad buy these for me. Because they let me, no matter what, be who I am.”
“I see,” Josie said, the nightlight flickering in the room, illuminating just their eyes.
“What about you, Josie?” Emma asked. “What are you?”
Josie thought about it. She had been doing a lot of thinking. Left alone in Emma’s shadow, awake all night with nothing but her mind. Emma thought and thought and thought and after all these years she was ready to speak. To tell the world what she thought and to tell everyone who she was.
And with that, Emma’s little sister smiled and went to sleep.
Moonlight, not bright: that is the night, Oxford blue. All through the sunset, no matter the sunset. The song of the sky plays deep and long. On our backs, maybe our sides, we succumb to paralysis and dance on the edge of death. However, only she knows the truth about this world. Only Josephine can see. She smells Hell’s bells round by the king’s roar.
Josie is awake. This was a status she maintains even through the night. When her father turns in after reading the paper, Josie is awake. When her mother is finally done cleaning around the house, Josie is awake. When her sister is sound asleep, warmth spreading between her legs and a smile on her face, Josie is awake.
Sometimes, when everyone else in the house is fast asleep, Josie walks throughout their home. Everything is exactly as it was when the sun set, and that is as it stays until the sun rises. She would never think to disturb anything. Josie respects the night, the two of them are in this together.
For as long as Josie recalled, every waking minute of her parent’s lives have been spent praising their precious Emma. And so, when the sun retreats and the moon emerges, the sleeping minutes of their parent’s lives belong to Josie.
Josie once saw this as a horrible thing. Her parents didn’t love her, they didn’t have any time for her. But during her seven years she came to accept this as the way things were and embraced her situation.
This was the world Josie lived in. The sun would rise and everyone would move around her, not noticing her at all. And then the sun would set and no one was around. And that is the time when Josie ruled the world.
* * *
“It doesn’t just mean we’ll have more money,” Kenneth Sheppard stood at the head of the table, a glass of wine held up high. “I can finally make a difference and bring new stores to the mall and make Harmony Hills a bigger and better place to live.”
“Yay, daddy!” Emma clapped her hands.
Josie kept eating.
“Thank you, Emma!” their dad said. He then turned to their mother and began talking about all the new ideas he had for the mall.
Josie looked at her sister. She imagined herself picking a pea off her plate and hurling it across the table. It would hit Emma in the cheek, catch her completely caught off guard. Even though their parents weren’t paying attention to Josie, Emma would make a fuss, scream and cry. Josie would lose her worthless TV privileges and acquire a handful of minutes in time out. And none of that would change the way anything happens in the house.
Josie decided against hitting Emma. She needed to eat. That was more important at the moment. If she had decided to assault her sister at the table, she would be sent away without her dinner. There were never any snacks in the house that Josie liked, everything was stocked with what Emma wanted so she really only ate her three meals a day.
Emma got whatever she wanted. She got to pick out the snacks they bought, the clothes they wore, and she doesn’t even have to use the bathroom anymore like a real person. Whenever Josie has to pee she gets up and has to miss what they are doing. Emma can just do it in her pants, because the first born gets it their way.
After dinner, Josie locked herself in her room and played with Emma’s old toys for a bit. She put on Emma’s old pajamas and, since it was too early to crawl into Emma’s old bed, she went downstairs to watch Emma’s favorite shows.
Everything Josie owned were things Emma had cast away as she aged. And yet, as Josie continues to receive old and used clothes, Emma is allowed to throw away her underwear up to three times a day.
Josie had thought about it before. She could easily feign incontinence, wet her bed or have accidents in school. Apparently that is what it takes to get her parent’s attention.
However, Josie did not care for the attention of the individuals she was randomly assigned to come out of. She was more interested in taking things away from Emma.
Some days, when Emma would go off to shower, Josie thought to sneak into her sister’s room and hide, even throw away, her precious Pull-Ups. Sometimes she even had the courage to do it, but the fear would sink in and she would return them before Emma noticed.
After TV time was over, the girls were sent away to their rooms. For Josie, there still remained a few more hours before the rest of the world went to sleep, and she would be left alone in her kingdom.
Chapter 2
Josie walked with her mother through the grocery store. It was one of her least favorite activities. Exploring the waking world, crammed with people walking around in the light. And worst of all they were just buying things Emma liked.
Emma likes Oreos with vanilla cookies, so that’s what Josie had to eat. Emma liked grape juice instead of orange, so that’s what Josie had to drink. Emma liked peeing in her pants for fun, so they bought her diapers and Josie has to keep using the toilet.
Josie hated walking down the baby aisle, seeing all the gross food in tiny jars and the all the weird medical items that reminded her of the sick and dying babies she sees on late night television. And of course Josie hates going near the diapers.
Her mother would grab Emma’s favorite, the largest size of Pull-Ups that came in pink with adorable Disney characters on them. The whole point of those characters was to discourage children from wetting them. Emma liked them more than the generic brand that just had butterflies and rainbows on them.
As Josie watched her mother drop the package in their shopping cart she was relieved to finally move on to anywhere else in the world.
They picked up a month’s supply of frozen foods, essential hygiene items such as toothpaste and toilet paper (designed for three fourths of the Shepard family) and eventually made their way to the produce, the last stop on their quest.
“Wait here with the cart,” Josie was told as her mother walked off.
Freedom? No. Josie hated standing in one spot. She would rather move around than stand in one spot for what will probably be a very long time.
As Josie tried to lean against the ever shifting cart, she saw herself being approached by a group of girls from her class. Josie didn’t care about friendships. They benefitted her in no way. She had no problem sitting alone at lunch or wandering the playground by herself at recess. In truth, any friends she had were people who liked her and wanted to hang out with her. They invited her to things. They wanted to spend time with her. If they stopped, Josie wouldn’t mind.
Unfortunately, those were not the girls who appeared before Josie today.
“Oh, hey,” Brigit said, “Hi, Josie.”
Josie said nothing.
“What is that?” Caroline said.
The girls looked into Josie’s shopping cart. When she realized what they were looking at, she wanted to pluck out their tongues and cut off their fingers.
“Are those Pull-Ups?” Caroline asked.
“OMG they are!” Brigit declared. “I thought you were potty trained, Josie?”
“Oh god,” Caroline stepped away, “Do you think she is wearing one right now?”
“Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!” Caroline said, “I bet she poops in them too!”
“Ewwwwwww!” Brigit squealed.
“THEY’RE NOT MINE!” Josie blurted out.
The girls stopped.
“There for my sister,” she added.
“Oh,” the girls said in unison.
“Wait a minute,” Brigit said, “Isn’t your sister in the fourth grade?”
“You expect us to believe that your older sister who probably doesn't even fit in Pull-Ups wears them instead of you?” Caroline asked.
“Yeah,” Brigit went on, “You’re the one who peed in your pants in school like four years ago.”
Josie thought that was an idiotic claim. Her relationship with the night has granted her a vast memory. She remembered that four years ago she was only three, fresh out of potty training. Her only such in school bladder accident ever had occurred in what was technically known as day care. Brigit on the other hand was a few months younger than Josie and had still been wearing Pull-Ups to school the day of Josie’s accident. Brigit had clearly only remembered the details that pertained to her insult at hand.
“Come on,” Caroline grabbed her friend, “We have to go tell everyone we’ve ever met.”
Josie, who hadn’t said a word, stood there as a pair of seven year olds went away to destroy her social standing.
Josie suddenly found herself thinking and planning. She got an idea. It wasn’t going to solve her current problem, but it was certainly guaranteed to succeed and make her life better. She was going to give Emma, and all of her friends, exactly what they wanted.
Chapter 3
The old shed deep in the woods was a mystery to the children of Harmony Hills. No one’s parents claimed it as their own and it was built so far from anyone’s property line that no one could figure out if it ever belonged to a specific house. It was simply an enigma that they boys would occasionally hang out in.
That is why Susie found it strange when she received a mysterious note telling her to meet there. She was weary, but had nothing better to do on a weekend so she didn’t think anything horrible would happen.
When Susie arrived, she found Lilly and Mimi standing at the shed as well, with Emma arriving from the other direction.
“So you guys all got a strange note too?” Susie asked as they all presented the letters that were all written on the same stationary with the same handwriting.
“Maybe they’re inside?” Emma motioned to the shed.
“I’m not going in there,” Mimi said. “It’s crazy.”
“You’re crazy,” Lilly said, “And I’m bored anyway.”
Lilly opened the door and walked in. The shed had glass windows, some broken, so light was able to get in. Other than that there wasn’t much except some old tools lying around. She stepped inside, and the others followed.
“Now what?” Susie asked.
The door suddenly slammed behind them and shut. THe girls all quickly turned back around as the sound of a lock moving into place was heard.
“Did we just get locked in a shed?” Mimi asked.
“Of course not,” Emma said as she tried to the nob. “Oh wait. Yeah, we did.”
“Somebody is messing with us, then? Right?” Susie asked.
“Nick and the boys,” Lilly said. “They’re always scheming things like this. They have a whole plan to kidnap us and tie us to trains. I never thought they would actually do it.”
“So what is the plan?” Emma asked. “We starve to death?”
“Nah,” Lilly said. “If anything they’ll let us out after dark so we get in trouble when we walk home late.”
“I’m not hungry anyway,” Susie said, “I just had a big lunch with a tall glass of lemonade and… Oh no.”
“What?” Emma asked as Susie stopped.
“We’re going to have to go to the bathroom soon,” Susie said. The others gasped.
“If they want me to wet my pants in fear,” Mimi declared, “Then they’re too late!”
The others looked down at Mimi’s dry pants. she rolled her eyes.
“I’m wearing a Pull-Up, obviously,” she said.
“Well I’m not,” Susie said. “And it was a really tall glass.”
“Me neither,” Lilly said, “But I don’t need to pee.”
Emma felt the Pull-Up between her legs, it was already warm and damp. “I’m fine,” she said.
And then it began to rain.
Chapter 4
“I mean, let’s be honest here,” Lilly said, “Worse case scenario is we pick a corner and call it the bathroom until we get out of here.”
Susie was trying to get the lock open, to no avail.
“Will any of our parents think to look for us in here?” Mimi asked.
“We probably won’t end up sleeping here,” Emma said.
“If we do we’re going to have a bigger problem than where we pee,” Lilly said. “I didn’t drink any lemonade today, but I did have two chilli dogs.”
“This is why you’re fat,” Mimi said.
“I am not fat!” Lilly spat back.
“You don’t even fit in Emma’s Pull-Ups, do you?” Mimi asked.
“I do!” Lilly got up in Mimi’s face.
“Guys, stop!” Emma said as she got between them. “This is what they want. To make us fight.”
“I thought they wanted us to pee in our pants,” Susie asked.
“That’s too juvenile,” Emma said, “If that was the plan they would’ve held us down and tickled us.”
“That is more Nick’s style,” Lilly admitted. “This is too extreme, even for him.”
“I’m gonna pee my pants,” Susie said, “Aren’t I?”
“No!” Emma said, “We’re gonna get out of this and go home and pee wherever it is we want. But not in our pants.”
Light flashed outside, the storm was getting worse. The girls looked up out the window. A moment later, there was a roar of thunder. And then an odder began to fill the room.
Susie looked at Emma. Emma looked at Mimi. Mimi looked at Susie. They all look at Lilly.
“I tried to hold it,” she said.
“It’s okay,” Emma said. “Just… Uhm.” Emma didn’t know what to do. They didn’t have a change of clothes or anywhere to dispose of what was now overflowing from Lilly’s underwear. Emma was at a complete loss.
“We should just sit down and wait I guess,” Susie said.
“I think I’ll stand,” Lilly said.
Emma and Mimi squished their wet Pull-Ups against wooden floor as Susie sat next to them, her very full bladder targeting her very dry pants.
“The last time I had an accident,” Susie said, “I was in second grade. I don’t remember specifically why it happened, but I remember having to pee, and then all of a sudden my pants were wet. I somehow managed to not be seen by anyone before I could tell a teacher. That’s normal for kids. No getting locked up during a storm. It just happened.”
“Do you want us to turn around so you can go in a corner?” Emma asked.
Susie tearfully shook her head. “It’s ok.” She pulled her legs up to her chest and buried her face in her knees. Emma watched as darkness spread across the seat of Susie’s pants and spread outward, forming a puddle around her.
“This isn’t fun,” Emma said. “I like wetting diapers but on purpose. Not when it’s an accident.”
“Unless it’s Penny,” Mimi said.
The rain was letting up.
Emma thought about that for a moment. “I can remember so many times when we would be playing with Penny and she would have to leave because she wet herself. I don’t know how I could ever have thought that was fun.”
“Whenever she would have to go home and change,” Mimi said, “Dad would spank her and she’d cry herself to sleep. She hated having to stop playing with you. And she hated not being able to go out the next day.”
Light poured back in through the windows.
“I hate this,” Emma was crying now. “I want to go back to the way things were. I want to be friends with Penny. I want to be able to play together.” She took a deep breath and said, “I don’t want to wear diapers anymore.”
Before anyone could say a word, the door was unlocked and opened. The girls turned around and slowly stood. As they were sitting, Emma and Mimi had both wet their Pull-Ups again, the resulting leaks made them look worse than Susie, who had strategically only wet the back of her pants.
A sudden sound of water splashing turned everyone’s heads to Lilly. She sighed as she finished wetting herself. “That feels good.”
“Lilly, why did you do that?” Emma asked.
Lilly turned around, showing off the browning bulge in her pants. “It’s not like this can get any worse. And if we’re all quitting diapers now I wanna get one last ride in.”
“We’re all quitting?” Mimi said?
“If Emma quits none of us can get diapers either,” Susie explained.
Mimi was not happy.
“It’s for the best,” Emma said. “Let’s get out of here.”
The girls stepped out of the shed, the fresh air covering up the messes they had all made for themselves. They stretched their legs and found themselves face to face with the person who had put them through all this.
Soaking wet from the rain, gripping the key to the shed, smiling a wide grin, standing before them, was none other than Josie.
Chapter 5
The psychologist’s office was cold. Josie sat on an unpleasant beige couch, staring blankly at the middle-aged woman seated across from her. The shelves were filled with large books with long titles. In the corner of the room sat child sized furniture and some toys and coloring supplies.
“Let me see if I got all this,” the psychologist said, “You locked your sister and her friends in a shed in the woods so they would have traumatic accidents in their pants and decide to stop wearing diapers… Forever?”
Josie nodded.
“What if someone had gotten hurt?” the psychologist asked, “Or you lost the key? I know you didn’t expect the storm but there is a chance they all could have been killed.”
Josie thought it over for a moment before she simply shrugged.
The psychologist did not flinch. “You’re not concerned for the lives of your sister or her friends?” She scribbled something onto a legal pad.
“I am not concerned about anything,” Josie said. “I don’t care if people like me or not. I don’t care if Emma is happy or not. I don’t care who lives or who dies. I don’t even particularly care about myself. No one else cares about me, so why should I care about them? Why should I care about myself? The populat of the Earth is estimated to be almost eight billion. It’s not like my single, tiny life means anything when compared to anyone else. I am sure if Emma died out there the whole town would come to her funeral. But if I died my parents would probably just give Emma my room. She already has a room, but this way she’ll have two.”
“What do you want, Josie?” the psychologist asked.
Josie was taken back. To her knowledge, she could not remember a single person ever asking her that before. She thought about it for a moment. What exactly did she want? Her mind was suddenly opening up to the countless possibilities, she didn’t know where to begin. She thought about it for a moment, and then came to an answer.
Josie had one idea.
***
Emma and her mother sat in the waiting room. The psychologist wanted to meet Emma first. She knew right away from the phone call that this was a case of of the younger child, Josie, acting out at the attention that the older child, Emma, was receiving.
The psychologist asked Emma why she wanted to wear diapers, and so Emma talked her ear off with the entire story.
Emma felt funny sitting in the waiting room while her younger sister was in there. She had no idea what they could’ve been talking about. Emma wanted to know what Josie had been thinking, because this kind of behavior was clearly unusual. but then again, Emma wasn’t exactly sure what kind of behavior was usual for Josie.
“Is Josie going to be okay?” Emma asked her mother.
“Of course, sweetie,” her mother asked.
“Is she in trouble?” Emma asked.
“No, sweetie,” was her mother’s answer.
“Am I in trouble?” Emma asked.
“No, sweetie.”
Emma knew that her actions had upset Penny, but she had no idea they could’ve been affecting her own sister like this. It was an even better reason to stop wearing them all together. She didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. No matter what the cost was.
The psychologist walked out of her office and said, “”She would like to speak with you.”
“I’ll be right back,” Emma’s mother stood and said.
“Sorry,” the psychologist said, “She would like to speak with Emma.”
Emma looked up at her mother, unsure of what to say or what to do. She didn’t know what would happen in that room. She didn’t know what her sister had to say. Emma wasn’t mad at Josie, just confused and unsure.
And now she had to face her.
***
That night, Emma curled up in bed, unsuspectedly finding herself in a Pull-Up. After getting home from the shed, Emma showered and put on panties and thought she would never again touch her relatively new package of disposable princess pants. But as she snuggled up under the blankets, winter in full force just outside her window, Emma was happy.
Josie snuggled next to her. The extra body under the covers heated them both up. Josie was more uncomfortable with the situation than she thought she would be. She was certainly more uncomfortable than Emma was.
It wasn’t because it had been a very, very long time since the two had shared a bed. It had simply been an even longer time since Josie found with a Pull-Up snug beneath her pajamas.
“It’s scratchy,” Josie said.
Emma giggled. “This was your idea. Besides, you get used to it,” she said. “I kinda like it. But it’s more about the padding in the middle. It’s comforting, protecting. Not just in case I have an accident, which I never do technically. It’s about that extra reassurance that I am what I am.”
“And what are you?” Josie asked.
“Loved,” Emma said. “Not just because mom and dad buy these for me. Because they let me, no matter what, be who I am.”
“I see,” Josie said, the nightlight flickering in the room, illuminating just their eyes.
“What about you, Josie?” Emma asked. “What are you?”
Josie thought about it. She had been doing a lot of thinking. Left alone in Emma’s shadow, awake all night with nothing but her mind. Emma thought and thought and thought and after all these years she was ready to speak. To tell the world what she thought and to tell everyone who she was.
And with that, Emma’s little sister smiled and went to sleep.