Susie
Harmony Hills never changes. It’s a small town in Pennsylvania and that’s what it’s going to be forever. But the people who live in Harmony Hills are the ones who change. Whether you’re born there or only stop by on a larger journey, Harmony Hills is a place where change is happening all around.
As Susie Young sat in the passenger seat of her mother’s minivan, she looked around at all of the same old places. The restaurants, the mall, the school. All of it was the same.
“I can’t believe it’s been a year since I was here,” Susie said.
“Excited to see all of your old friends?” her mother asked.
“Most of them,” Susie said, looking away. “There’s one I won’t be able to see.”
***
The park behind her old neighborhood was the same. Susie decided she wanted to be dropped off their. Her mother parked in eye shot as Susie sat on the swings, barely swaying back and forth. After a few minutes of silence, Susie was no longer the only person in the park.
“Why are you wearing that coat? It’s like sixty degrees and it doesn’t match your shoes.”
“It’s colder where I live, plus,” she looked up at her guest and said, “Holy shit! Your hair is black now.”
“And straight too.” Abigail spun around, jet black locks flowed with her. “You like it? After grooming Mimi’s hair all this time I finally decided to take a break from being a curly blond.”
Abigail sat down on the swing next to Susie, but wasn’t in much of a mood for swinging either.
“This place isn’t the same without you,” Abigail said. “It’s basically the same town, but the people are different. We all changed and then you left, so things changed even more.”
“I’m back now,” Susie said.
“Not for good though.”
Susie shook her head, but then smiled, “So spend your time with me wisely.”
Abigail shook her head as well. “I can’t hog you. There are other people who miss you.”
***
Aside from the carpet, there wasn’t much pink left in Abigail’s room. Her bedding, wallpaper, everything was different. Even her hair was a different color. Some things stayed the same, like the package of Goodnites sitting on the dresser. Same brand, just one size up.
Susie started to ask, “So you still-”
“Yup,” Abigail saw where Susie was looking and cut her off. “Only at night though. How ‘bout you?”
Susie shook her head. “We were at the store one day and I had a choice between diapers or a gossip magazine. The diapers had cartoon characters I’d never heard of on them, the magazine had a really hot guy on it.”
“I remember that issue,” Abigail said, “Good issue.”
“Y’know,” Susie said, “You were the first person to mention diapers to me when I moved here.”
“Really?” Abigail was shocked. “Me?”
“On my first day you were showing me who was cool and who was a loser,” Susie reminded her. “You went into a long, mean rant about how Penny Gaines was never potty trained or whatever.”
“Part of that was true,” Abigail said. “And part of it was me exerting my own insecurities about myself and my accidents onto someone weaker than me in an attempt to make the new girl my friend.”
“Yeah,” Susie said. “Well after that I actually swiped one of my brother’s diapers and the rest is history.”
“You were like ‘The Supplier’ for a while, too, right?” Abigail asked. “It’s like this is all your fault. Everyone else would probably have gotten over the phase if you weren’t giving them what they wanted.”
“At least until Thanksgiving,” Susie smiled as a pillow hit her face.
“Thanks, Susie,” Abigail said.
“For what?”
“You’re the first person who brought change into this town. It was normal and boring. I was tired of being a bitch but it was who I was. Emma might have been the club president of the diaper bunch, but you were a big part of it’s founding. I owe you a lot. We all do.”
Susie smiled.
“Thanks.”
Abigail smiled back.
“So what’s his name?” Susie asked.
“WHAT?” Abigail blushed.
“I know you, stupid,” Susie laughed, “It’s not just the hair, it’s the perfume you think I can’t smell and the socks you think I don’t notice in your training bra. So spill.”
Abigail sighed. “Promise you won’t tell?”
Susie nodded, “What are best friends for?”
Nicole
She was ten now. She felt normal. She felt good. So why was she so upset?
“Do you want to see him?”
Nicole shook her head. “I still don’t have anything to say to him.”
As the car made its way past the county jail, Nicole let out a sigh of relief. The last time she had tried to go in that building, the last time she had tried to see him, she regressed so much she thought she was going to turn into a fetus and crawl into the nearest womb.
It was a shame too. She had bought such a pretty, brand new dress just for the occasion.
After the adoption, it took some time before Nicole finally reached a place where she was completely comfortable with who she was. But eventually she got it together enough to be able to go to school without a wrap around, go to bed without Pull-Ups, look at herself in the mirror without seeing a shadow of who she used to be.
Her new family made her feel better than her father or any of his assistants ever had. Her new father was a novelist, so he spent way more time at home than Nicole was accustomed too. Her new mother was an insurance broker. nicole honestly didn’t know what that meant, but that was okay.
She had a little brother too, which was also new and exciting. He was five and had been adopted the year before from the Ukraine. He grew up in an orphanage with thirty other boys, so no one ever loved him. After a year of just teaching him English, Nicole was adopted.
They were potty trained at the same time, giving each other encouragement to get through it together.
She returned to dance class a few times, but she and Abigail agreed it was for little kids and quit. A few weeks later she was invited to spend a week at the beach, but turned it down to go fishing with her new family.
If Nicole had known what news would follow when she returned from that trip, she never would have come back.
“So why did you come back now?” Rena asked as the two sat in the food court at the mall.
“I missed the trip,” Nicole said, “And I missed the funeral. I wanted to go to that, but I knew it wasn’t a good idea. Three would’ve come out for sure.”
Rena wasn’t sure if it was an appropriate question, but she had to ask. “Does she still ever come out?”
“Once in a blue moon,” Nicole said. “Usually just in dreams. I just have to avoid stressful environments, emotional atmospheres, high pressure scenarios, direct sunlight, and saltwater.”
They laughed.
“How do you do it, though?” Rena asked. “You went through more than any of us and you’re the one who came out the most normal.”
“I just had to realize who I was,” Nicole said. “I wasn’t Three, I wasn’t the Mayor’s Daughter. I was Nicole. I am Nicole. As long as I say that too myself, I am fine.”
Rena waited for more.
“Wait, that’s it?” Rena asked. “You just say it? So if I say ‘I am not a bedwetter’ every night than I can stop waking up at midnight and two and four in the morning?”
“Probably,” Nicole shrugged. “Or you could just wear Pull-Ups like everyone else.”
Rena almost choked on the root beer she was drinking.
“You have been gone a long time,” Rena said. “Nobody wears Pull-Ups in this town anymore. Except for Abigail. Oh and probably dozens of toddlers and a few old people. But no one in our class.”
“So,” Nicole had danced around it long enough, “What about Emma and Izzy?”
“You really wanna know what’s going on with those two?” Rena asked.
Nicole nodded.
“Yeah, well,” Rena shrugged. “Take a number.”
Josie
They dotted the I’s. They crossed the T’s. They sent the papers off. And that was that. after a long year of therapy and counseling, after a long year of fighting and yelling, it was finally decided.
“Okay then,” Josie said, “You get the TV from four to seven and I get it from seven to 8, then you get it from eight to nine.”
She looked up at the girl across the table. Distant, staring out the window. The light hit her face perfectly, emitting a radiant glow, like a halo, around her head. You could never tell that there was once a three inch crack on her skull.
“Emma?” Josie tried to get her sister to say something.
“Hm?” was the only response she got.
“Are you okay?” Josie kept going. “Everyone’s been asking about you. Penny and Mimi were here earlier. They wanted to know if you were coming with us this weekend. And then Izzy-”
“I’m fine,” Emma turned to her sister.
“No you’re not,” Josie said. “You’re a mess.”
“Shut up,” Emma said.
“All you do is eat, sleep, and wash your sheets at 6AM when you think no one is awake,” Josie shot back.
“You’re so annoying,” Emma said.
“I am trying to help you, stupid!” Josie said.
“I said I’m fine!”
Josie paused, then said, “You used to be so happy.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Emma said.
Josie held it back for a moment, then said: “I’m moving to Pilgrimage with dad.”
Emma froze, but recovered almost instantly. “Oh,” she said.
“Are you going to be okay?” Josie asked.
Emma nodded. “It’s just… It was one thing when he was just sleeping downstairs on the couch, or at the motel downtown. But this makes it real. I don’t want this to happen. I want our family to stay together, even if we’re not really all together. And now you’re leaving too and-”
Josie couldn’t help but smile.
“What?” Emma asked.
“This is the longest conversation we’ve had in a year.”
Emma smiled. “I’m sorry, You can move with dad.”
“I wasn’t asking for your permission,” Josie reminded her.
“I know,” Emma said, “But you have it if you want it.”
“I want you to come with us this weekend.”
Emma didn’t say anything at first. Then she said, “I won’t ever go back there. Not unless she’s there too.”
“Izzy said she’s coming,” Josie said.
“Not her,” Emma said. “I can see Izzy whenever I want. But… I can’t see her ever again.”
“I know,” Josie said, bringing Emma in for a hug. “I know.”
***
Josie’s eyes were still a little watery as she sat in the back seat. As they approached a red light, her dad turned around and asked, “Somethin’ wrong sweetheart?”
“I’m fine.”
“When I was about your age,” he said, “A girl in my class was out camping when she was struck by lightning.”
“Jesus Christ dad!” Josie stopped him, “Seriously, I’m fine.”
He smiled, “You are, aren’t you?”
She nodded. “I wasn’t that close to Lilly and I wasn’t at the beach house when she died. I was shocked but I got over it faster than most. So stop trying to tell me about the time Corey Hoffman got struck by lightning.”
Mr. Shepard laughed.
“Last year you barely said a word to anyone, and of course we were too stupid to notice. But here you are now, putting me in my place. You’re smart. A bit weird, but smart. I was like you as a kid. Didn’t talk much, but I had a lot to say. You’ve been handling the divorce really well, better than your sister that’s for sure. But I guess that makes sense. She’s been going through a lot. Probably thinks I’m leaving her.”
“Then why don’t you stay?” Josie asked.
“I’m not running away from her,” Mr. Shepard explained. “What’s going on between me and your mother is different than what’s going on with your sister. I’ve tried to understand Emma for a very long time. But I just don’t get it. First she likes diapers, then she likes girls, now she doesn’t like anything.”
“You knew about her and Izzy?” Josie looked up.
“Sweetie there are like twenty-four people in this town,” he said. “We love you both and don’t care what you do or who you are as long as you’re happy and healthy. When we agreed to let you wear diapers for fun, we thought you would understand that we support you in any decision… As long as that decision doesn’t involve drugs or guns.”
“What about pot or paintball?” Josie asked.
“Not until you’re seventeen,” he said.
“Deal.”
He smiled again. “There are sometimes when a girl needs her mother, and sometimes when she needs her father. And then there are times when a father needs his daughter.”
“Is that why you wanted me to come with you?” Josie asked.
“Emma will be fine with mom,” he said, “But I am just as scared of moving to a new place where I don’t know anyone as you are. So we’re in this together, okay?”
Josie nodded. As they turned down an unfamiliar street, she perked up again and asked, “Where are we going? I thought you wanted to do some school shopping.”
“Well the thing is,” he dad said, “About the new school… Uh… You’re going to have to wear a uniform.”
Josie laughed, “Oh is that all? Did you think that would upset me? Maybe you don’t understand me. I don’t care what I have to wear to school.”
“Really?” he dad asked through the rearview mirror.
She smiled, and nodded.
She was going to be just fine.
Penny
“Are you sure you can’t tell?” Penny asked.
Mimi nodded. “Seriously, you’re fine.”
“I feel weird,” Penny said. “Like I am on display in front of the whole world.”
“Penny for the love of all things sacred,” Mimi said, “You’ve gone through potty training, preschool, potty training again, kindergarten, glasses, elementary school, and being a super hot stone cold fox. I think you can survive this.”
Penny turned around and looked in the mirror again. She smiled.
“But these are braces!” she said. “Why can’t I be a stone cold fox again?”
“You look fine,” Mimi said, “I’d date you if I wasn’t your sister.”
“Technically you’re not my sister,” Penny said.
Mimi thought about it for a second.
“Okay, you’re not Date Your Adopted Sister hot.” Mimi said, “But seriously, no one's gonna notice. Half the people in junior high are going to have braces. They’ll be too busy lookin at your huge boobs.”
Penny looked down and smiled.
“They are huge, aren’t they?”
“The top three biggest I’ve ever seen,” Mimi said. “Right up there with Izzy’s mom and Rena’s dad.”
“Man he really let himself go after the school board fired him,” Penny said.
Mimi nodded. “Fat, fat, fat, fat.”
“Wow, when did you get so mean?” Penny asked. “You’ve been hangin out with Abigail too much.”
“No I haven’t!” Mimi said.
“Oh, whatever,” Penny fell back on her bed. “I am as ready as I’ll ever be.”
“You really have had the most interesting character arc here,” Mimi said. “From sickly moe anime girl too sexy R-rated comedy love interest.”
“Wha?” Penny was confused. “I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or not.”
Mimi curled up next to Penny in bed.
“When have I ever made fun of you?” Mimi asked.
Penny smiled.
“Yeah,” she said. “Even when you were the little sister of the lame kindergartener who couldn’t keep her pants dry and had to wear Pull-Ups. You were always so nice, which was even better because I wasn’t really your sister.”
“Penny, you’re an idiot,” Mimi said. “It’s not that you aren’t my sister. I was the outsider, the one who felt different because I was the adopted one. You were the one who treated me better than everyone. Don’t you remember the time you stuck up for me when the Nick asked why my eyes looked weird? You pinned him down and made made him smell your Pull-Up.”
“He was such a jerk,” Penny said.
“I still can’t believe he and Lilly were twins,” Mimi said.
“I still can’t believe you kissed him,” Penny said.
“Hey, that was a rough day,” Mimi said. “We just buried his sister, best friend, and we were both very emotional and he looked really good in a suit.”
Penny nodded. “You two were cute together,” she said.
“Please,” Mimi said, “We were barely together at all. He dumped me after like two weeks.”
“Yeah,” Penny said, “But you didn’t care. After all, he’s not the real person you like.”
Mimi didn’t say a word. “How did you know?”
“Because,” Penny said, “I am your sister. And sisters look out for one another.”
Abigail
“Keep it,” she said, without looking up from her book.
“What about this one?”
Abigail looked up. “Mome, none of these dresses even fit me anymore.”
“I know,” Mrs. Shepard said, “But they’re still memories.”
“That’s what the pictures are for,” Abigail reminded her. “I don’t want the dresses or the trophies or anything like that.”
Her mom held up a DVD and asked, “What about your episode of Toddlers and Tiaras?”
“Okay,” Abigail said, “You can save that.”
***
Those images, those memories. There wasn’t much of the old Abigail left except a shadow that she could barely remember. She was happy, she had black hair, and she was generally pleasant. Sure she still wet herself at night, but she had finally come to terms with the fact that that was simply the way she was.
There was, however, one thing about Abigail she was unsure of.
As she reached the first year of her teen age, Abigail struggled with more than just the usual junior high drama like biology and French. There were only two people she felt comfortable talking about it with.
One of them was dead, and the other wasn’t talking much either.
When she knocked on the door to her cousin’s house, Josie answered.
“Yeah, it’s just me,” Josie said. “Everyone comes lookin’ for Emma, no one ever wants to see me.”
“I didn’t say I wanted Emma,” Abigail said, “Well, not yet anyway. But you know you’re my cousin too. If you ever want to talk you can.”
“I know that, stupid,” Josie said.
They stood in silence for a moment.
“So is Emma here?” Abigail asked.
Josie sighed and shook her head. “She’s at the doctor’s.”
“Is she sick?” Abigail asked, legitimately worried.
Josie said, “Unless you consider bedwetter a medical condition.”
“Well,” Abigail thought about it. “I mean… I guess? My mom took me to the doctor for it when I was three. He said there was nothing wrong with me, so my mom assumed I was doing it on purpose for a while.”
“Wow.” Josie wasn’t even surprised.
“Yeah,” Abigail said. “Wait, Emma’s been wetting the bed?”
“Well she wets her Pull-Ups,” Josie explained, “Which she used to already do. But these days she’s not doing it on purpose, or while she’s awake.”
“Oh, man.” Abigail turned around and sat on the porch. “Is that why she’s been like this?”
Josie joined her on the porch. “I think it’s a mix of things. First her friend dies, then her and Izzy break up. I think it was starting before then, but it got worse after that.”
“I know what she’s going through,” Abigail said. “Stress, anxiety, nerves. All sorts of emotions start bottling up and then one day they explode.”
“In your pants?” Josie asked.
“In your bed,” Abigail said, “In your leotard, in your fancy pageant dress, in your mom’s boss’s house, in your cheerleading uniform, in a million places it shouldn’t go. Maybe Emma will be fine, maybe she won’t be. I still wear Goodnites and I am perfectly happy.”
Josie gulped. “It could be a family thing. All Shepard girls will eventually age backwards.”
“It’s not aging backwards,” Abigail said, “It could be tied to puberty. Your body is growing up too fast but your bladder is staying small.”
“Is that what’s happening to you?” Josie asked. “You’re growing up too fast?”
Abigail looked off into what seemed like nothingness. She could feel the summer air brushing against her skin. She smiled.
“I’m officially a teenager. Did you know that?” she asked. “The big One-Three. I’m in Junior High and I have to take a language class and learn pre-algebra and I still wear diapers to bed. I’m a bedwetting teenager. Isn’t that interesting?”
“Abigail-” Josie started.
“The whole town knows now, so it’s not worth getting upset or feeling ashamed,” Abigail went on. “My name is Abigail Shepard. Former beauty queen and teenaged betwetter.”
Josie stared at her for a moment, and then it hit her.
“So have you always been a lesbian?”
Abigail looked at her cousin and smiled. “You’re smart, you know that?”
“I’m not smart,” Josie said, “I just not how to read people. Like how you’re totally mad about some cute girl.”
“How do you know it’s a girl?” Abigail asked.
“Because I know who it is,” Josie said. “And she’s mad about you too.”
“The old me would’ve denied it,” Abigail said. “I would’ve stormed off, maybe projected it onto you. But I’ve changed.”
And for the first time in her life, Abigail stopped lying to herself.
Rena
It happened last summer.
The school board had waited until the end of the academic year to let Mr. Taylor go. And so after that the family went up for a trip to visit Nana in her cottage. It was a vacation with reliable free lodging. Of course Rena’s dad wasn’t there, he was busy looking for a job.
Rena quickly realized just how old fashioned Nana Taylor was. She didn’t have a computer or internet or even a TV. Rena spent their first evening there playing on her phone.
Before bed, Rena visited the bathroom and set her alarms. It was her usual routine, nothing could ever go wrong.
Except that for the first time in her life, Rena Taylor woke up in a wet bed.
She would come to learn that her Nana didn’t even have electricity, thus the nearly dead phone did not charge and ran out of battery before the alarms could go off. And so Rena wet the bed.
Nana lived on a farm, Rena’s uncles ran it. All the food was grown fresh and daily harvests were sold in town, thus nothing ever needed refrigerated or frozen. Well water was pumped for washing and, as for going to the bathroom… You don’t want to know.
Rena woke herself up in a panic, before anyone else was up. Of course, Nana’s farmer blood had her up at dawn and discovered the ten year old’s accident.
“My phone didn’t charge,” Rena said.
“And so you wet the bed?” Nana asked.
Rena didn’t answer.
“Those were real chicken feathers in that mattress,” Nana said, “Gonna have to throw it out and pluck a new one.”
“I’m sorry,” Rena started to cry.
Nana started to walk off and said, “Come with me, child.”
Before the sun was even all the way up, Rena sat naked in a tub in a barn while her mother blasted her with a hose.
After giving her a towel, Nana said, “Yer cousin May Belle used to use these,” and handed Rena a bright pink Pull-Up with Cinderella staring back at her.
“Now?” Rena asked, eyes still wet with shame.
Nana nodded. “You plannin’ on wettin’ yerself, yer gonna wear a diaper.”
“It was just one accident,” Rena said, “and I was asleep.”
“Tell you what?” Nana said, “You stop throwin a fit right this second, and I won’t have to tell yer mother. Either way, you’re walkin out of here with that there diaper on.”
As Rena stared at the Pull-Up, she remembered her cousin May Belle, the cousin who apparently “used” to wear them. May Belle was in second grade, but Rena had just turned ten and couldn’t even sleep through one single night without wetting herself.
As she slid the papery undergarment in place, she started to feel a little better. Her Nana handed her a pair of overalls and a plaid shirt, and Rena covered herself up.
As she began to walk back into the house with her secret underwear, Rena suddenly felt herself realizing something.
She felt comfortable. Safe. Free. All because of the Pull-Up. Suddenly stress didn’t seem to exist for Rena.
Her phone dead until they could get somewhere to charge it, and no other form of electronic entertainment, Rena found herself playing in the fields and running around in the sun. She even taught the pigs how to play soccer. She lost.
At lunch time, Nana passed by and must have noticed a bulge on Rena’s bottom.
“Child, you’ve learned your lesson,” she said, “Take that thing off if you want.”
Rena froze.
“You wet it, didn’t you?” Nana asked.
Rena blushed and nodded.
“So much for it only bein’ a when you were asleep,” Nana said. “Well you can have the rest of May Belle’s if you need ‘em.”
Rena changed in the outhouse, and then changed again before bed, and kept the routine going until she had a few extras of May Belle’s to take home with her.
Apparently Nana had not kept her promise and told Rena’s mom.
“I know you’re not doing it on purpose,” her mother said, “But we just don’t have the money for these right now. You’ll have to just try and wake up at night.”
After a few nights of sleeping straight through dawn and waking up in a squishy Pull-Up, Rena never wanted to set an alarm again. Courtney and Brittany were right. Emma and Mimi were right. Nicole and Abigail were right. Penny and Izzy were right.
Lilly was right.
Rena felt better in diapers for a couple days than she ever did on a soccer field.
At first, Rena thought about borrowing them from her friends. However, while she was able to admit that she might need them she could never let anyone know she wanted them. Instead, Rena saved up her allowance and bought them herself in secret.
When Gert and then Courtney outgrew the habit, they offered their leftover stock to Rena. None of the “Diapers for Fun” crowd were wearing them anymore, and Rena wasn’t close enough with Abigail to ask her.
And so Rena’s allowance dwindled, but her love of diapers grew. As everyone entered fifth grade, Rena was probably the only one who still wore them, whether she needed them or liked them.
And man, did Rena like diapers.
Mimi
No matter how many days went by, and it had been three hundred and fifty seven to be precise, Mimi never got over it. She never moved on. She never forgot.
She would still see it whenever she closed her eyes. It was morning, and everyone was exhausted from staying up late. The first thing she remembered was Susie screaming her head off. Almost everyone reported to the scene at the same time, they all shared the shock together.
Susie’s mom called an ambulance. “She’s not breathing,” she said, “Yes, there was an operation a few months ago. A tumor, but she’s fine now. And she’s cold to touch.” After that last sentence, there was a pause. “I understand,” Mrs. Young said. She hung up and went to sit on the couch. “Come here girls,” she said.
“What’s going on?” everyone asked.
But Mimi knew before the EMTs arrive. She knew before Mrs. Young told them. She knew the moment she saw her best friend on the floor.
She knew that Lilly was dead.
***
It was Mimi’s idea to plant lilies around the grave. “She was always into symbolic stuff like that,” she said. “Lilly liked chocolate and cartoons, but she was more than just that. She would’ve wanted lilies at her funeral because he name was Lilly.”
Nobody could tell her that it wasn’t the same spelling. That Lilly was never Lily. But they knew that that didn’t matter to Mimi.
After the service, there was a reception at the French home. In the backyard, there was an old tire swing that idled under a tree.
Mimi remembered riding it with Lilly, taking turns pushing each other.
She saw someone sitting still on it, and went to join them.
It was Nick, Lilly’s twin brother.
“Hey,” he said.
Mimi didn’t know what to say. No one did. No one knew what to do at all.
“Zachary couldn’t make it today,” Nick said. “He’s in the hospital. Apparently he took a turn for the worse when he found out. He loved her. You loved her. She was my twin and I don’t even remember talking to her recently.”
“Not all brothers and sisters are best friends,” Mimi said.
“We could’ve been,” Nick said, “but now we never will. I never really got to know her. And now no one ever will.”
“You know,” Mimi said, “She talked about you all the time.”
That seemed to surprise Nick.
“She did?”
Mimi nodded. “How you were mean and always hogged the TV and deleted her video game files for fun and peed on the toilet seat.”
“She didn’t even use the toilet,” Nick said with a smile. “Don’t tell anyone, but I actually stole one of her diapers once and tried it on.”
“And?” Mimi asked.
“I was glad it wasn’t the girly kind,” Nick said, “Makes perfect sense she would want the Spider-Man ones over Tinkerbell. But it was weird and scratchy. I took it off after a few minutes cus it was hard to sleep in.”
Mimi shrugged. “It’s an acquired taste, I guess.”
There was a silence, and so she said, “Bye,” and started to leave.
“Wait!” Nick grabbed her hand and stopped her. “Could you… Uhm… Tell me more about her?”
Mimi smiled and nodded. They sat under the tree and talked for hours, long after everyone left. They laughed through their tears, sharing stories about Lilly. And before Mimi had to go home, the two shared a first kiss.
Two weeks later, Mimi realized who she really liked.
***
Three hundred and fifty seven after Lilly died, Mimi walked into her room one day and found someone sitting on her bed.
“Abigail?”
“Uhm… So… Hi,” the oldest Shepard girl said. “How are you?”
“Your hair is black now,” Mimi said.
“Do you like it?” Abigail asked.
Mimi shrugged.
“What are you doing here?” Mimi asked.
“I was in the neighborhood,” Abigail said.
“That’s because you live next door.”
“Do you want me to leave?” Abigail asked.
Mimi shrugged again.
Abigail looked down and said, “Fine.” She stood up and walked to the door.
“Wait!” Mimi said, stopping her. “You can stay.”
The two sat on Mimi’s bed in silence for a moment.
“I’m sorry,” Mimi said.
“For what?” Abigail asked.
Mimi said, “I never returned your call.”
“Wha?” Abigail was not sure what she was referring to.
“You called and asked if I wanted to hang out and Penny took the message and I never called back and that’s why you’ve been mad at me all year and not talking to me.”
Abigail smiled. “I thought you were made at me,” she said, “And that’s why you didn’t call back.”
“Oh,” Mimi said, “That’s kinda funny.”
“So why didn’t you call me back?” Abigail said.
“I didn’t know what would happen if I did,” Mimi said. “I wanted to talk to someone else first but Emma still isn’t talking to anyone and Izzy was busy with her family and eventually I just got scared and just tried to forget.”
“Forget what?” Abigail asked.
“Forget that I cared about you,” Mimi said, starting to tear up. “Because I don’t want to lose any more people that I care about so I don’t want to care about anyone else. That’s why I don’t have a best friend anymore and that’s why I don’t want a… I miss her so much, and I don’t want to miss you when you’re gone. So I didn’t want to talk to you or be friends with you or… I just don’t want to be sad like that ever again. But the truth is no matter how much I try I can’t stop. I can’t stop caring about you. I miss you. I miss talking with you. I miss letting you do my hair. And now I don’t want to not be friends anymore, because just like Nick and Lilly, if something ever happened to you I wouldn’t even remember. And I would rather miss you when you’re gone than never have known you in the first place.”
“Mimi?” Abigail asked.
Looking up through her tears, Mimi whimpered, “What is it?”
“Do you want to be my girlfriend?”
For a second, Mimi processed exactly what Abigail was asking. And then she sat up and gave her a light peck on the lips.
‘’Some might say this is out of character,” Mimi says, “But when you think about it-”
“Shut up,” Abigail said, stopping Mimi with another kiss.
“By the way,” Mimi said. “That means yes.”
Emma and Izzy
“How ’bout Inez?” Mrs. Perez asked.
There was no response. Her daughter lay next to her in bed, cuddling as she listened to the two heart beats in her mother’s belly. They came one after the other, twins the doctor told them. Two more children were going to come into this world.
But how long would they get to stay here?
“Or Benicio?” Mrs. Perez went on. “Maybe Natalia? I kinda of like the name Jacob, even though it’s not really Spanish. But Noel is a French name so-”
“French,” Izzy interrupted her. “That was her last name.”
Her mother paused, then said, “I’m sorry, Isabella.”
“No,” Izzy said, “Don’t be. That’s it. If one of them is a girl, can we name her Lillian?”
Sophie smiled, and nodded. “That is a good name.”
***
The next morning, Izzy tossed her Pull-Up and took a shower. When she was done, she dressed and went down for breakfast. It was unusually quiet, no baby screaming. Izzy then remembered that Noel had a doctor’s appointment that day, so Izzy was home alone.
A year ago, Izzy probably would not and should not have been left alone, but now things were different. She was ten now, double digits, and was more responsible and helpful around the house and with the baby.
But some things never changed. Like, for example, no matter how many of Noel’s diapers she changed, Izzy still had to wear her own. She hated her parents having to spend so much money on her, but she couldn’t do anything about it.
Bored before nine in the morning, Izzy picked up the phone and made a call.
“Hey, you wanna come over?” she asked.
“Can’t,” Mimi said, “I’m packing today.”
“Sorry,” Rena said, “I’m busy.”
“Why are you calling me?” Josie asked, “Lemme get Emma… Hello?”
“I’m all packed actually,” Abigail said, “Apparently Mimi needs help packing.”
“I wish I could,” Penny explained, “But I have to unpack everything Mimi packed and then repack it.”
Izzy set the phone down and sighed. She was all packed, but wasn’t sure if she was going yet. It was a hard decision to make, and she didn’t want to make it alone. The worst part about it was that this trip was her idea.
“Let’s go back to the beach house,” she said, almost six months ago. “When it’s warmer out. It’s what Lilly would’ve wanted.”
And while everyone took that suggestion and ran with it, Izzy realized that it wasn’t that simple.
Because that beach house was not just the place where Lilly died. It was also the place where she and Emma broke up.
They had reconciled the night before, but things quickly took a turn for the worse and they ended up sleeping on opposite sides of the bed, each facing the wall and not speaking to each other ever again.
But with the trip just a few days away, Izzy couldn’t help but feel like it was finally time to do something about it. But she didn’t want to do it over the phone.
And so Izzy grabbed her jacket and headed to the front door, where she found Emma about to ring the doorbell.
“Oh,” Emma said. “Uh… Josie said you wanted to see me?”
Izzy froze, and didn’t say anything at first. “No,” she added, “You don’t want to talk to me and I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Fine,” Emma said, “If you’re gonna be a big brat about it, I’m leaving.”
As Emma walked off, Izzy shouted, “Wait!” and stopped her.
“Josie didn’t tell you I called, did she?” Izzy asked.
Emma shook her head, then she noticed the jacket that Emma was holding and asked, “Where were you about to go?”
Izzy sighed and asked, “Wanna come in?”
***
The two sat on the couch. It was quiet, but not silence. They simply sat thier, staring at each other, both constantly on the verge of saying something, words crumbling before they could escape their mouths. Emma saw a ring on the coffee table. Someone forgot to use a coaster. Izzy saw a weird cowlick that wasn’t usually in Emma’s short hair. Someone forgot to shower.
“Are you coming to the beach house with us?” Izzy asked.
Emma shrugged. “So you’re going?” she asked.
“Maybe,” Izzy said. “It wouldn’t be the same without you.”
“It wouldn’t be the same without Lilly, either,” Emma said.
“Yeah,” Izzy agreed, “I think you should go.”
“Okay,” Emma said, “Maybe I will.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
They turned to each other and smiled, but Izzy’s returned to a frown first.
“How come you never told anyone?” Izzy asked, “About what happened to us.”
“I assumed you would,” Emma explained, “But then the rumors started to spread and I figured it was better to let things be.”
“Even if those rumors didn’t make you look good?” Izzy asked.
“I tend to look some kind of bad in everyone’s eyes anyway,” Emma said.
“Not me,” Izzy said, “I tried to defend you, but...” She couldn’t think of the words.
“It was easier to just let everyone think what they want, right?” Izzy asked.
“Right,” Emma said.
“So they all think you wanted it,” Izzy said. “That you were pressuring me into having sex, even though I was the one who wanted to.”
“We were nine,” Emma said, “No matter what, we were still young.”
“I know that now,” Izzy said, “And I’m sorry. But I could feel you slipping away and I thought it would keep you around.”
“I wasn’t going anywhere,” Emma said.
“I figured that out eventually,” Izzy said, “But that just made me feel worse, like I pushed yoaway. But after that it felt like it was too late.”
Emma thought about what she said for a moment, and then inched closer to her. “I never stopped caring about you. The whole time I was dealing with Lilly’s death all I wanted was to be with you. But I thought you hated me for rejecting you.”
“I wasn’t mad at you,” Izzy said, leaning closer toward Emma, “And I still care about you too.”
Emma brushed some of Izzy’s hair out of her face and stroked her cheek. She closed her eyes and felt Izzy getting closer. For the first time in a year, the two felt that same old connection again. It was like something had reignited the fire, and Emma was ready to let it burn forever.
And then Izzy backed away.
“But,” Izzy said, “You’re right. We’re still too young. We’re just kids. We don’t have any money, we can’t drive, we still wear diapers.”
“Only at night,” Emma said.
Izzy smiled and nodded. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah,” Emma said, “This past year, I didn’t want a girlfriend. I didn’t need a girlfriend. I just needed a friend. I needed you. Because no matter what I do or say or want, I won’t be a kid forever, and I will grow up. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be happy along the way.”
Izzy smiled. “I was hoping you would say that,” she said, “Because I want to be happy to you. And I don’t need my girlfriend to do that. I need my best friend.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Emma said, “Never again.”
They spent the rest of the day catching up, sharing stories from the past year, and eventually Emma decided to sleep over.
“Do you want to sleep on the floor?” Izzy asked.
“Do you want me to?” Emma asked.
Izzy shook her head.
“Then I won’t.”
As they held each other in bed, Izzy could feel two heart beats. They came one after the other. They both knew, as they drifted off to sleep, that this was exactly what they both wanted all along. It was perfect happiness, without any of the romantic drama holding either of them back. It was good to be friends again, it was all they needed. And after that night, neither of them ever wet the bed again. It just stopped, for both of them, together.
Lilly
Emma opened the door and let everyone in. Mimi, Penny, Nicole, Rena, Abigail, Josie, Susie, and Izzy all entered the beach house. No one had been inside since they were there last. It was dark and quiet, and so they slowly walked around in silence, taking it all in.
This was the place their lives changed forever. Some of them weren’t even there, but Lilly touched each of them in some way or another.
“What’s this?” Emma asked, holding up a small book that was collecting dust under the couch.
“That’s the journal Lilly was writing,” Susie said, “She said she was writing down her-” Suzie stopped herself as she realized exactly what it was.
“Her thoughts,” Emma said.
Josie nodded and said, “Her last thoughts.”
Emma opened it up and read it aloud. “A lot of people like to write ‘Dear Diary’ like they are sending messages to the book. But that’s weird. The diary isn’t even a real person. So instead I think I want to write this book to real person. I choose my friends. Mimi, Penny, Nicole, Rena, Abigail, Josie, Susie, Izzy, and Emma. I’ll probably just end up reading it to you guys one day anyway, so it’s not like it’s secret or private.”
“This is weird,” Mimi said, “We should stop.”
“She just gave us permission to read it,” Abigail said, “Keep going, Emma.”
Emma nodded.
“Dear friends,
“Tomorrow is the last ever episode of Monster Story, I’m so excited I can’t sleep! I know you all think it’s weird that I like this show so much, especially because it’s kind of a boy show. But it’s more than that. It’s special to me, and I think I finally found a way to show you guys too.
“You see, in Monster Story, there are these things called Crests, magical symbols that give all the main monsters the power to change into something powerful. But they’re not just for fighting, they actually represent a part of the kids on the show too. It’s kind of a… what’s that word? Metaphor for how the kids grow up. The Crests show how much they have changed from episode one, ever since their journey started.
“I feel like we’re all just like the kids in Monster Story. We’ve changed so much over the past year, and we’re all so different. So, for fun, I thought it would be cool to match each and every one of you up with one of the Crests from Monster Story.
“I’ll start with Mimi. You’re my best friend and you’re always there when I need you for anything. So you have the Crest of Reliability. That means you can’t ever turn me down if I need help or chocolate, okay?
“Penny, yours is the Crest of Friendship, because, believe it or not, none of us would even be friends if it wasn’t for you. You became friends with Emma who became friends with me and you introduced us to your sister so on and so forth. Without you none of us would even be friends.
“Rena, I’m giving you the Crest of Courage. You stood up to the mean girls and fought for what’s right. It’s perfect for you because you’re brave, your tough, and you like soccer.
“Soccer?” Rena asked, her eyes starting to water.
Emma shrugged and continued.
“Josie, you have the Crest of Knowledge. A lot of people don’t notice this about you, but I can tell that you’re super smart. You’re so young but you know more about this world than any of us ever will.
“Nicole, I don’t think Miss Kathy turned you into a little kid. I think that’s who you always were on the inside, and your daddy’s lifestyle made you be someone you’re not. That’s why you should have the Crest of Sincerity, for always being true to yourself and who you are.
“Abigail, you have the Crest of Kindness. You used to be so mean and nasty but now you’re nice and gentle. To think we spent all these years fighting. I can’t wait to see what being friends with you is like next year and the year after that and after that!”
“Izzy, yours is the Crest of Love, because you always think about others before yourself. You’re sweet and caring and selfless.
“Susie, you get the Crest of Light. You came here to a new place where you didn’t know anybody, and instead of acting shy or scared you were always beaming like a shining star. You almost always had a smile on your face, shining bright.
“I guess I should probably give myself one, huh? I guess I should have the Crest of Hope, because when I was sick and thought I was going to die, you all never gave up hope that I would get better. And now that I’m all better, I hope we can spend the rest of our lives together.
“Oh, Lilly...” Mimi broke down into tears, Abigail held her close.
Emma wiped her eyes and went on.
“And lastly, there’s Emma, and… Well there are only nine characters on Monster Story so there are only nine Crests. But I thought long and hard about this and made up my own Crest just for you. And… and…”
Emma paused, she was smiling, really and truly smiling, for the first time in a very long time, even though there were tears running down her cheeks.
“Go on, Emma,” Izzy said, “What does it say?”
“Yours is the Crest of Harmony, because you always bring peace back into our lives, even if you’re the one who caused all the chaos in the first place. Whenever we’re separated, you bring us together. Whenever there is trouble, you know just what to do. Sometimes we all fight, sometimes we argue, but in the end you know the perfect things to say and do to make sure we’re all one big happy family.”
“Is there anything else?” Mimi asked, everyone else in no position to talk.
Emma nodded and continued.
“Well, that’s everyone. It took longer than I thought, but I think I did good. The sun is coming up, I’ve been awake a really long time. But it’s almost time for the episode. I’m excited, but getting a little tired. I think I’ll rest for a minute. I hope I don’t sleep through the show. I can’t wait to see how it ends.”
Everyone was silent for a moment, no one was even sniffling.
“What should we do now?” Nicole asked.
“I have an idea,” Emma said. “Monster Story is on Netflix, right? Let’s watch it all, together, to the very end.”
Everyone nodded in agreement.
Though they were sad to say one last goodbye to their friend, they knew they could honor her memory by experiencing the thing that made her so happy, the thing she was so dedicated to, the last thing that was on her mind. She was always trying to get them to watch it, and now they knew how important it was to her. And so they decided then to start watching from episode one and not stop until the end.
They were awake for almost the whole weekend, sitting around the TV laughing and crying. And when the final scene ended and the credits rolled for the last time, they were all so exhausted they could barely stay awake.
As they curled up together, they all reflected on what Lilly had written about them. Nicole’s sincerity, Abigail’s kindness, it was all real and Lilly knew about it long before any of them.
They thought about the year they’d had and the adventures they’d been through together. Sometimes it was fun, sometimes it was sad, but in the end they all found something about themselves that they didn’t know was there before. Something that would stay with them for the rest of their lives.
And as they all drifted off to sleep, they finally found themselves in harmony.
Harmony Hills never changes. It’s a small town in Pennsylvania and that’s what it’s going to be forever. But the people who live in Harmony Hills are the ones who change. Whether you’re born there or only stop by on a larger journey, Harmony Hills is a place where change is happening all around.
As Susie Young sat in the passenger seat of her mother’s minivan, she looked around at all of the same old places. The restaurants, the mall, the school. All of it was the same.
“I can’t believe it’s been a year since I was here,” Susie said.
“Excited to see all of your old friends?” her mother asked.
“Most of them,” Susie said, looking away. “There’s one I won’t be able to see.”
***
The park behind her old neighborhood was the same. Susie decided she wanted to be dropped off their. Her mother parked in eye shot as Susie sat on the swings, barely swaying back and forth. After a few minutes of silence, Susie was no longer the only person in the park.
“Why are you wearing that coat? It’s like sixty degrees and it doesn’t match your shoes.”
“It’s colder where I live, plus,” she looked up at her guest and said, “Holy shit! Your hair is black now.”
“And straight too.” Abigail spun around, jet black locks flowed with her. “You like it? After grooming Mimi’s hair all this time I finally decided to take a break from being a curly blond.”
Abigail sat down on the swing next to Susie, but wasn’t in much of a mood for swinging either.
“This place isn’t the same without you,” Abigail said. “It’s basically the same town, but the people are different. We all changed and then you left, so things changed even more.”
“I’m back now,” Susie said.
“Not for good though.”
Susie shook her head, but then smiled, “So spend your time with me wisely.”
Abigail shook her head as well. “I can’t hog you. There are other people who miss you.”
***
Aside from the carpet, there wasn’t much pink left in Abigail’s room. Her bedding, wallpaper, everything was different. Even her hair was a different color. Some things stayed the same, like the package of Goodnites sitting on the dresser. Same brand, just one size up.
Susie started to ask, “So you still-”
“Yup,” Abigail saw where Susie was looking and cut her off. “Only at night though. How ‘bout you?”
Susie shook her head. “We were at the store one day and I had a choice between diapers or a gossip magazine. The diapers had cartoon characters I’d never heard of on them, the magazine had a really hot guy on it.”
“I remember that issue,” Abigail said, “Good issue.”
“Y’know,” Susie said, “You were the first person to mention diapers to me when I moved here.”
“Really?” Abigail was shocked. “Me?”
“On my first day you were showing me who was cool and who was a loser,” Susie reminded her. “You went into a long, mean rant about how Penny Gaines was never potty trained or whatever.”
“Part of that was true,” Abigail said. “And part of it was me exerting my own insecurities about myself and my accidents onto someone weaker than me in an attempt to make the new girl my friend.”
“Yeah,” Susie said. “Well after that I actually swiped one of my brother’s diapers and the rest is history.”
“You were like ‘The Supplier’ for a while, too, right?” Abigail asked. “It’s like this is all your fault. Everyone else would probably have gotten over the phase if you weren’t giving them what they wanted.”
“At least until Thanksgiving,” Susie smiled as a pillow hit her face.
“Thanks, Susie,” Abigail said.
“For what?”
“You’re the first person who brought change into this town. It was normal and boring. I was tired of being a bitch but it was who I was. Emma might have been the club president of the diaper bunch, but you were a big part of it’s founding. I owe you a lot. We all do.”
Susie smiled.
“Thanks.”
Abigail smiled back.
“So what’s his name?” Susie asked.
“WHAT?” Abigail blushed.
“I know you, stupid,” Susie laughed, “It’s not just the hair, it’s the perfume you think I can’t smell and the socks you think I don’t notice in your training bra. So spill.”
Abigail sighed. “Promise you won’t tell?”
Susie nodded, “What are best friends for?”
Nicole
She was ten now. She felt normal. She felt good. So why was she so upset?
“Do you want to see him?”
Nicole shook her head. “I still don’t have anything to say to him.”
As the car made its way past the county jail, Nicole let out a sigh of relief. The last time she had tried to go in that building, the last time she had tried to see him, she regressed so much she thought she was going to turn into a fetus and crawl into the nearest womb.
It was a shame too. She had bought such a pretty, brand new dress just for the occasion.
After the adoption, it took some time before Nicole finally reached a place where she was completely comfortable with who she was. But eventually she got it together enough to be able to go to school without a wrap around, go to bed without Pull-Ups, look at herself in the mirror without seeing a shadow of who she used to be.
Her new family made her feel better than her father or any of his assistants ever had. Her new father was a novelist, so he spent way more time at home than Nicole was accustomed too. Her new mother was an insurance broker. nicole honestly didn’t know what that meant, but that was okay.
She had a little brother too, which was also new and exciting. He was five and had been adopted the year before from the Ukraine. He grew up in an orphanage with thirty other boys, so no one ever loved him. After a year of just teaching him English, Nicole was adopted.
They were potty trained at the same time, giving each other encouragement to get through it together.
She returned to dance class a few times, but she and Abigail agreed it was for little kids and quit. A few weeks later she was invited to spend a week at the beach, but turned it down to go fishing with her new family.
If Nicole had known what news would follow when she returned from that trip, she never would have come back.
“So why did you come back now?” Rena asked as the two sat in the food court at the mall.
“I missed the trip,” Nicole said, “And I missed the funeral. I wanted to go to that, but I knew it wasn’t a good idea. Three would’ve come out for sure.”
Rena wasn’t sure if it was an appropriate question, but she had to ask. “Does she still ever come out?”
“Once in a blue moon,” Nicole said. “Usually just in dreams. I just have to avoid stressful environments, emotional atmospheres, high pressure scenarios, direct sunlight, and saltwater.”
They laughed.
“How do you do it, though?” Rena asked. “You went through more than any of us and you’re the one who came out the most normal.”
“I just had to realize who I was,” Nicole said. “I wasn’t Three, I wasn’t the Mayor’s Daughter. I was Nicole. I am Nicole. As long as I say that too myself, I am fine.”
Rena waited for more.
“Wait, that’s it?” Rena asked. “You just say it? So if I say ‘I am not a bedwetter’ every night than I can stop waking up at midnight and two and four in the morning?”
“Probably,” Nicole shrugged. “Or you could just wear Pull-Ups like everyone else.”
Rena almost choked on the root beer she was drinking.
“You have been gone a long time,” Rena said. “Nobody wears Pull-Ups in this town anymore. Except for Abigail. Oh and probably dozens of toddlers and a few old people. But no one in our class.”
“So,” Nicole had danced around it long enough, “What about Emma and Izzy?”
“You really wanna know what’s going on with those two?” Rena asked.
Nicole nodded.
“Yeah, well,” Rena shrugged. “Take a number.”
Josie
They dotted the I’s. They crossed the T’s. They sent the papers off. And that was that. after a long year of therapy and counseling, after a long year of fighting and yelling, it was finally decided.
“Okay then,” Josie said, “You get the TV from four to seven and I get it from seven to 8, then you get it from eight to nine.”
She looked up at the girl across the table. Distant, staring out the window. The light hit her face perfectly, emitting a radiant glow, like a halo, around her head. You could never tell that there was once a three inch crack on her skull.
“Emma?” Josie tried to get her sister to say something.
“Hm?” was the only response she got.
“Are you okay?” Josie kept going. “Everyone’s been asking about you. Penny and Mimi were here earlier. They wanted to know if you were coming with us this weekend. And then Izzy-”
“I’m fine,” Emma turned to her sister.
“No you’re not,” Josie said. “You’re a mess.”
“Shut up,” Emma said.
“All you do is eat, sleep, and wash your sheets at 6AM when you think no one is awake,” Josie shot back.
“You’re so annoying,” Emma said.
“I am trying to help you, stupid!” Josie said.
“I said I’m fine!”
Josie paused, then said, “You used to be so happy.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Emma said.
Josie held it back for a moment, then said: “I’m moving to Pilgrimage with dad.”
Emma froze, but recovered almost instantly. “Oh,” she said.
“Are you going to be okay?” Josie asked.
Emma nodded. “It’s just… It was one thing when he was just sleeping downstairs on the couch, or at the motel downtown. But this makes it real. I don’t want this to happen. I want our family to stay together, even if we’re not really all together. And now you’re leaving too and-”
Josie couldn’t help but smile.
“What?” Emma asked.
“This is the longest conversation we’ve had in a year.”
Emma smiled. “I’m sorry, You can move with dad.”
“I wasn’t asking for your permission,” Josie reminded her.
“I know,” Emma said, “But you have it if you want it.”
“I want you to come with us this weekend.”
Emma didn’t say anything at first. Then she said, “I won’t ever go back there. Not unless she’s there too.”
“Izzy said she’s coming,” Josie said.
“Not her,” Emma said. “I can see Izzy whenever I want. But… I can’t see her ever again.”
“I know,” Josie said, bringing Emma in for a hug. “I know.”
***
Josie’s eyes were still a little watery as she sat in the back seat. As they approached a red light, her dad turned around and asked, “Somethin’ wrong sweetheart?”
“I’m fine.”
“When I was about your age,” he said, “A girl in my class was out camping when she was struck by lightning.”
“Jesus Christ dad!” Josie stopped him, “Seriously, I’m fine.”
He smiled, “You are, aren’t you?”
She nodded. “I wasn’t that close to Lilly and I wasn’t at the beach house when she died. I was shocked but I got over it faster than most. So stop trying to tell me about the time Corey Hoffman got struck by lightning.”
Mr. Shepard laughed.
“Last year you barely said a word to anyone, and of course we were too stupid to notice. But here you are now, putting me in my place. You’re smart. A bit weird, but smart. I was like you as a kid. Didn’t talk much, but I had a lot to say. You’ve been handling the divorce really well, better than your sister that’s for sure. But I guess that makes sense. She’s been going through a lot. Probably thinks I’m leaving her.”
“Then why don’t you stay?” Josie asked.
“I’m not running away from her,” Mr. Shepard explained. “What’s going on between me and your mother is different than what’s going on with your sister. I’ve tried to understand Emma for a very long time. But I just don’t get it. First she likes diapers, then she likes girls, now she doesn’t like anything.”
“You knew about her and Izzy?” Josie looked up.
“Sweetie there are like twenty-four people in this town,” he said. “We love you both and don’t care what you do or who you are as long as you’re happy and healthy. When we agreed to let you wear diapers for fun, we thought you would understand that we support you in any decision… As long as that decision doesn’t involve drugs or guns.”
“What about pot or paintball?” Josie asked.
“Not until you’re seventeen,” he said.
“Deal.”
He smiled again. “There are sometimes when a girl needs her mother, and sometimes when she needs her father. And then there are times when a father needs his daughter.”
“Is that why you wanted me to come with you?” Josie asked.
“Emma will be fine with mom,” he said, “But I am just as scared of moving to a new place where I don’t know anyone as you are. So we’re in this together, okay?”
Josie nodded. As they turned down an unfamiliar street, she perked up again and asked, “Where are we going? I thought you wanted to do some school shopping.”
“Well the thing is,” he dad said, “About the new school… Uh… You’re going to have to wear a uniform.”
Josie laughed, “Oh is that all? Did you think that would upset me? Maybe you don’t understand me. I don’t care what I have to wear to school.”
“Really?” he dad asked through the rearview mirror.
She smiled, and nodded.
She was going to be just fine.
Penny
“Are you sure you can’t tell?” Penny asked.
Mimi nodded. “Seriously, you’re fine.”
“I feel weird,” Penny said. “Like I am on display in front of the whole world.”
“Penny for the love of all things sacred,” Mimi said, “You’ve gone through potty training, preschool, potty training again, kindergarten, glasses, elementary school, and being a super hot stone cold fox. I think you can survive this.”
Penny turned around and looked in the mirror again. She smiled.
“But these are braces!” she said. “Why can’t I be a stone cold fox again?”
“You look fine,” Mimi said, “I’d date you if I wasn’t your sister.”
“Technically you’re not my sister,” Penny said.
Mimi thought about it for a second.
“Okay, you’re not Date Your Adopted Sister hot.” Mimi said, “But seriously, no one's gonna notice. Half the people in junior high are going to have braces. They’ll be too busy lookin at your huge boobs.”
Penny looked down and smiled.
“They are huge, aren’t they?”
“The top three biggest I’ve ever seen,” Mimi said. “Right up there with Izzy’s mom and Rena’s dad.”
“Man he really let himself go after the school board fired him,” Penny said.
Mimi nodded. “Fat, fat, fat, fat.”
“Wow, when did you get so mean?” Penny asked. “You’ve been hangin out with Abigail too much.”
“No I haven’t!” Mimi said.
“Oh, whatever,” Penny fell back on her bed. “I am as ready as I’ll ever be.”
“You really have had the most interesting character arc here,” Mimi said. “From sickly moe anime girl too sexy R-rated comedy love interest.”
“Wha?” Penny was confused. “I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or not.”
Mimi curled up next to Penny in bed.
“When have I ever made fun of you?” Mimi asked.
Penny smiled.
“Yeah,” she said. “Even when you were the little sister of the lame kindergartener who couldn’t keep her pants dry and had to wear Pull-Ups. You were always so nice, which was even better because I wasn’t really your sister.”
“Penny, you’re an idiot,” Mimi said. “It’s not that you aren’t my sister. I was the outsider, the one who felt different because I was the adopted one. You were the one who treated me better than everyone. Don’t you remember the time you stuck up for me when the Nick asked why my eyes looked weird? You pinned him down and made made him smell your Pull-Up.”
“He was such a jerk,” Penny said.
“I still can’t believe he and Lilly were twins,” Mimi said.
“I still can’t believe you kissed him,” Penny said.
“Hey, that was a rough day,” Mimi said. “We just buried his sister, best friend, and we were both very emotional and he looked really good in a suit.”
Penny nodded. “You two were cute together,” she said.
“Please,” Mimi said, “We were barely together at all. He dumped me after like two weeks.”
“Yeah,” Penny said, “But you didn’t care. After all, he’s not the real person you like.”
Mimi didn’t say a word. “How did you know?”
“Because,” Penny said, “I am your sister. And sisters look out for one another.”
Abigail
“Keep it,” she said, without looking up from her book.
“What about this one?”
Abigail looked up. “Mome, none of these dresses even fit me anymore.”
“I know,” Mrs. Shepard said, “But they’re still memories.”
“That’s what the pictures are for,” Abigail reminded her. “I don’t want the dresses or the trophies or anything like that.”
Her mom held up a DVD and asked, “What about your episode of Toddlers and Tiaras?”
“Okay,” Abigail said, “You can save that.”
***
Those images, those memories. There wasn’t much of the old Abigail left except a shadow that she could barely remember. She was happy, she had black hair, and she was generally pleasant. Sure she still wet herself at night, but she had finally come to terms with the fact that that was simply the way she was.
There was, however, one thing about Abigail she was unsure of.
As she reached the first year of her teen age, Abigail struggled with more than just the usual junior high drama like biology and French. There were only two people she felt comfortable talking about it with.
One of them was dead, and the other wasn’t talking much either.
When she knocked on the door to her cousin’s house, Josie answered.
“Yeah, it’s just me,” Josie said. “Everyone comes lookin’ for Emma, no one ever wants to see me.”
“I didn’t say I wanted Emma,” Abigail said, “Well, not yet anyway. But you know you’re my cousin too. If you ever want to talk you can.”
“I know that, stupid,” Josie said.
They stood in silence for a moment.
“So is Emma here?” Abigail asked.
Josie sighed and shook her head. “She’s at the doctor’s.”
“Is she sick?” Abigail asked, legitimately worried.
Josie said, “Unless you consider bedwetter a medical condition.”
“Well,” Abigail thought about it. “I mean… I guess? My mom took me to the doctor for it when I was three. He said there was nothing wrong with me, so my mom assumed I was doing it on purpose for a while.”
“Wow.” Josie wasn’t even surprised.
“Yeah,” Abigail said. “Wait, Emma’s been wetting the bed?”
“Well she wets her Pull-Ups,” Josie explained, “Which she used to already do. But these days she’s not doing it on purpose, or while she’s awake.”
“Oh, man.” Abigail turned around and sat on the porch. “Is that why she’s been like this?”
Josie joined her on the porch. “I think it’s a mix of things. First her friend dies, then her and Izzy break up. I think it was starting before then, but it got worse after that.”
“I know what she’s going through,” Abigail said. “Stress, anxiety, nerves. All sorts of emotions start bottling up and then one day they explode.”
“In your pants?” Josie asked.
“In your bed,” Abigail said, “In your leotard, in your fancy pageant dress, in your mom’s boss’s house, in your cheerleading uniform, in a million places it shouldn’t go. Maybe Emma will be fine, maybe she won’t be. I still wear Goodnites and I am perfectly happy.”
Josie gulped. “It could be a family thing. All Shepard girls will eventually age backwards.”
“It’s not aging backwards,” Abigail said, “It could be tied to puberty. Your body is growing up too fast but your bladder is staying small.”
“Is that what’s happening to you?” Josie asked. “You’re growing up too fast?”
Abigail looked off into what seemed like nothingness. She could feel the summer air brushing against her skin. She smiled.
“I’m officially a teenager. Did you know that?” she asked. “The big One-Three. I’m in Junior High and I have to take a language class and learn pre-algebra and I still wear diapers to bed. I’m a bedwetting teenager. Isn’t that interesting?”
“Abigail-” Josie started.
“The whole town knows now, so it’s not worth getting upset or feeling ashamed,” Abigail went on. “My name is Abigail Shepard. Former beauty queen and teenaged betwetter.”
Josie stared at her for a moment, and then it hit her.
“So have you always been a lesbian?”
Abigail looked at her cousin and smiled. “You’re smart, you know that?”
“I’m not smart,” Josie said, “I just not how to read people. Like how you’re totally mad about some cute girl.”
“How do you know it’s a girl?” Abigail asked.
“Because I know who it is,” Josie said. “And she’s mad about you too.”
“The old me would’ve denied it,” Abigail said. “I would’ve stormed off, maybe projected it onto you. But I’ve changed.”
And for the first time in her life, Abigail stopped lying to herself.
Rena
It happened last summer.
The school board had waited until the end of the academic year to let Mr. Taylor go. And so after that the family went up for a trip to visit Nana in her cottage. It was a vacation with reliable free lodging. Of course Rena’s dad wasn’t there, he was busy looking for a job.
Rena quickly realized just how old fashioned Nana Taylor was. She didn’t have a computer or internet or even a TV. Rena spent their first evening there playing on her phone.
Before bed, Rena visited the bathroom and set her alarms. It was her usual routine, nothing could ever go wrong.
Except that for the first time in her life, Rena Taylor woke up in a wet bed.
She would come to learn that her Nana didn’t even have electricity, thus the nearly dead phone did not charge and ran out of battery before the alarms could go off. And so Rena wet the bed.
Nana lived on a farm, Rena’s uncles ran it. All the food was grown fresh and daily harvests were sold in town, thus nothing ever needed refrigerated or frozen. Well water was pumped for washing and, as for going to the bathroom… You don’t want to know.
Rena woke herself up in a panic, before anyone else was up. Of course, Nana’s farmer blood had her up at dawn and discovered the ten year old’s accident.
“My phone didn’t charge,” Rena said.
“And so you wet the bed?” Nana asked.
Rena didn’t answer.
“Those were real chicken feathers in that mattress,” Nana said, “Gonna have to throw it out and pluck a new one.”
“I’m sorry,” Rena started to cry.
Nana started to walk off and said, “Come with me, child.”
Before the sun was even all the way up, Rena sat naked in a tub in a barn while her mother blasted her with a hose.
After giving her a towel, Nana said, “Yer cousin May Belle used to use these,” and handed Rena a bright pink Pull-Up with Cinderella staring back at her.
“Now?” Rena asked, eyes still wet with shame.
Nana nodded. “You plannin’ on wettin’ yerself, yer gonna wear a diaper.”
“It was just one accident,” Rena said, “and I was asleep.”
“Tell you what?” Nana said, “You stop throwin a fit right this second, and I won’t have to tell yer mother. Either way, you’re walkin out of here with that there diaper on.”
As Rena stared at the Pull-Up, she remembered her cousin May Belle, the cousin who apparently “used” to wear them. May Belle was in second grade, but Rena had just turned ten and couldn’t even sleep through one single night without wetting herself.
As she slid the papery undergarment in place, she started to feel a little better. Her Nana handed her a pair of overalls and a plaid shirt, and Rena covered herself up.
As she began to walk back into the house with her secret underwear, Rena suddenly felt herself realizing something.
She felt comfortable. Safe. Free. All because of the Pull-Up. Suddenly stress didn’t seem to exist for Rena.
Her phone dead until they could get somewhere to charge it, and no other form of electronic entertainment, Rena found herself playing in the fields and running around in the sun. She even taught the pigs how to play soccer. She lost.
At lunch time, Nana passed by and must have noticed a bulge on Rena’s bottom.
“Child, you’ve learned your lesson,” she said, “Take that thing off if you want.”
Rena froze.
“You wet it, didn’t you?” Nana asked.
Rena blushed and nodded.
“So much for it only bein’ a when you were asleep,” Nana said. “Well you can have the rest of May Belle’s if you need ‘em.”
Rena changed in the outhouse, and then changed again before bed, and kept the routine going until she had a few extras of May Belle’s to take home with her.
Apparently Nana had not kept her promise and told Rena’s mom.
“I know you’re not doing it on purpose,” her mother said, “But we just don’t have the money for these right now. You’ll have to just try and wake up at night.”
After a few nights of sleeping straight through dawn and waking up in a squishy Pull-Up, Rena never wanted to set an alarm again. Courtney and Brittany were right. Emma and Mimi were right. Nicole and Abigail were right. Penny and Izzy were right.
Lilly was right.
Rena felt better in diapers for a couple days than she ever did on a soccer field.
At first, Rena thought about borrowing them from her friends. However, while she was able to admit that she might need them she could never let anyone know she wanted them. Instead, Rena saved up her allowance and bought them herself in secret.
When Gert and then Courtney outgrew the habit, they offered their leftover stock to Rena. None of the “Diapers for Fun” crowd were wearing them anymore, and Rena wasn’t close enough with Abigail to ask her.
And so Rena’s allowance dwindled, but her love of diapers grew. As everyone entered fifth grade, Rena was probably the only one who still wore them, whether she needed them or liked them.
And man, did Rena like diapers.
Mimi
No matter how many days went by, and it had been three hundred and fifty seven to be precise, Mimi never got over it. She never moved on. She never forgot.
She would still see it whenever she closed her eyes. It was morning, and everyone was exhausted from staying up late. The first thing she remembered was Susie screaming her head off. Almost everyone reported to the scene at the same time, they all shared the shock together.
Susie’s mom called an ambulance. “She’s not breathing,” she said, “Yes, there was an operation a few months ago. A tumor, but she’s fine now. And she’s cold to touch.” After that last sentence, there was a pause. “I understand,” Mrs. Young said. She hung up and went to sit on the couch. “Come here girls,” she said.
“What’s going on?” everyone asked.
But Mimi knew before the EMTs arrive. She knew before Mrs. Young told them. She knew the moment she saw her best friend on the floor.
She knew that Lilly was dead.
***
It was Mimi’s idea to plant lilies around the grave. “She was always into symbolic stuff like that,” she said. “Lilly liked chocolate and cartoons, but she was more than just that. She would’ve wanted lilies at her funeral because he name was Lilly.”
Nobody could tell her that it wasn’t the same spelling. That Lilly was never Lily. But they knew that that didn’t matter to Mimi.
After the service, there was a reception at the French home. In the backyard, there was an old tire swing that idled under a tree.
Mimi remembered riding it with Lilly, taking turns pushing each other.
She saw someone sitting still on it, and went to join them.
It was Nick, Lilly’s twin brother.
“Hey,” he said.
Mimi didn’t know what to say. No one did. No one knew what to do at all.
“Zachary couldn’t make it today,” Nick said. “He’s in the hospital. Apparently he took a turn for the worse when he found out. He loved her. You loved her. She was my twin and I don’t even remember talking to her recently.”
“Not all brothers and sisters are best friends,” Mimi said.
“We could’ve been,” Nick said, “but now we never will. I never really got to know her. And now no one ever will.”
“You know,” Mimi said, “She talked about you all the time.”
That seemed to surprise Nick.
“She did?”
Mimi nodded. “How you were mean and always hogged the TV and deleted her video game files for fun and peed on the toilet seat.”
“She didn’t even use the toilet,” Nick said with a smile. “Don’t tell anyone, but I actually stole one of her diapers once and tried it on.”
“And?” Mimi asked.
“I was glad it wasn’t the girly kind,” Nick said, “Makes perfect sense she would want the Spider-Man ones over Tinkerbell. But it was weird and scratchy. I took it off after a few minutes cus it was hard to sleep in.”
Mimi shrugged. “It’s an acquired taste, I guess.”
There was a silence, and so she said, “Bye,” and started to leave.
“Wait!” Nick grabbed her hand and stopped her. “Could you… Uhm… Tell me more about her?”
Mimi smiled and nodded. They sat under the tree and talked for hours, long after everyone left. They laughed through their tears, sharing stories about Lilly. And before Mimi had to go home, the two shared a first kiss.
Two weeks later, Mimi realized who she really liked.
***
Three hundred and fifty seven after Lilly died, Mimi walked into her room one day and found someone sitting on her bed.
“Abigail?”
“Uhm… So… Hi,” the oldest Shepard girl said. “How are you?”
“Your hair is black now,” Mimi said.
“Do you like it?” Abigail asked.
Mimi shrugged.
“What are you doing here?” Mimi asked.
“I was in the neighborhood,” Abigail said.
“That’s because you live next door.”
“Do you want me to leave?” Abigail asked.
Mimi shrugged again.
Abigail looked down and said, “Fine.” She stood up and walked to the door.
“Wait!” Mimi said, stopping her. “You can stay.”
The two sat on Mimi’s bed in silence for a moment.
“I’m sorry,” Mimi said.
“For what?” Abigail asked.
Mimi said, “I never returned your call.”
“Wha?” Abigail was not sure what she was referring to.
“You called and asked if I wanted to hang out and Penny took the message and I never called back and that’s why you’ve been mad at me all year and not talking to me.”
Abigail smiled. “I thought you were made at me,” she said, “And that’s why you didn’t call back.”
“Oh,” Mimi said, “That’s kinda funny.”
“So why didn’t you call me back?” Abigail said.
“I didn’t know what would happen if I did,” Mimi said. “I wanted to talk to someone else first but Emma still isn’t talking to anyone and Izzy was busy with her family and eventually I just got scared and just tried to forget.”
“Forget what?” Abigail asked.
“Forget that I cared about you,” Mimi said, starting to tear up. “Because I don’t want to lose any more people that I care about so I don’t want to care about anyone else. That’s why I don’t have a best friend anymore and that’s why I don’t want a… I miss her so much, and I don’t want to miss you when you’re gone. So I didn’t want to talk to you or be friends with you or… I just don’t want to be sad like that ever again. But the truth is no matter how much I try I can’t stop. I can’t stop caring about you. I miss you. I miss talking with you. I miss letting you do my hair. And now I don’t want to not be friends anymore, because just like Nick and Lilly, if something ever happened to you I wouldn’t even remember. And I would rather miss you when you’re gone than never have known you in the first place.”
“Mimi?” Abigail asked.
Looking up through her tears, Mimi whimpered, “What is it?”
“Do you want to be my girlfriend?”
For a second, Mimi processed exactly what Abigail was asking. And then she sat up and gave her a light peck on the lips.
‘’Some might say this is out of character,” Mimi says, “But when you think about it-”
“Shut up,” Abigail said, stopping Mimi with another kiss.
“By the way,” Mimi said. “That means yes.”
Emma and Izzy
“How ’bout Inez?” Mrs. Perez asked.
There was no response. Her daughter lay next to her in bed, cuddling as she listened to the two heart beats in her mother’s belly. They came one after the other, twins the doctor told them. Two more children were going to come into this world.
But how long would they get to stay here?
“Or Benicio?” Mrs. Perez went on. “Maybe Natalia? I kinda of like the name Jacob, even though it’s not really Spanish. But Noel is a French name so-”
“French,” Izzy interrupted her. “That was her last name.”
Her mother paused, then said, “I’m sorry, Isabella.”
“No,” Izzy said, “Don’t be. That’s it. If one of them is a girl, can we name her Lillian?”
Sophie smiled, and nodded. “That is a good name.”
***
The next morning, Izzy tossed her Pull-Up and took a shower. When she was done, she dressed and went down for breakfast. It was unusually quiet, no baby screaming. Izzy then remembered that Noel had a doctor’s appointment that day, so Izzy was home alone.
A year ago, Izzy probably would not and should not have been left alone, but now things were different. She was ten now, double digits, and was more responsible and helpful around the house and with the baby.
But some things never changed. Like, for example, no matter how many of Noel’s diapers she changed, Izzy still had to wear her own. She hated her parents having to spend so much money on her, but she couldn’t do anything about it.
Bored before nine in the morning, Izzy picked up the phone and made a call.
“Hey, you wanna come over?” she asked.
“Can’t,” Mimi said, “I’m packing today.”
“Sorry,” Rena said, “I’m busy.”
“Why are you calling me?” Josie asked, “Lemme get Emma… Hello?”
“I’m all packed actually,” Abigail said, “Apparently Mimi needs help packing.”
“I wish I could,” Penny explained, “But I have to unpack everything Mimi packed and then repack it.”
Izzy set the phone down and sighed. She was all packed, but wasn’t sure if she was going yet. It was a hard decision to make, and she didn’t want to make it alone. The worst part about it was that this trip was her idea.
“Let’s go back to the beach house,” she said, almost six months ago. “When it’s warmer out. It’s what Lilly would’ve wanted.”
And while everyone took that suggestion and ran with it, Izzy realized that it wasn’t that simple.
Because that beach house was not just the place where Lilly died. It was also the place where she and Emma broke up.
They had reconciled the night before, but things quickly took a turn for the worse and they ended up sleeping on opposite sides of the bed, each facing the wall and not speaking to each other ever again.
But with the trip just a few days away, Izzy couldn’t help but feel like it was finally time to do something about it. But she didn’t want to do it over the phone.
And so Izzy grabbed her jacket and headed to the front door, where she found Emma about to ring the doorbell.
“Oh,” Emma said. “Uh… Josie said you wanted to see me?”
Izzy froze, and didn’t say anything at first. “No,” she added, “You don’t want to talk to me and I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Fine,” Emma said, “If you’re gonna be a big brat about it, I’m leaving.”
As Emma walked off, Izzy shouted, “Wait!” and stopped her.
“Josie didn’t tell you I called, did she?” Izzy asked.
Emma shook her head, then she noticed the jacket that Emma was holding and asked, “Where were you about to go?”
Izzy sighed and asked, “Wanna come in?”
***
The two sat on the couch. It was quiet, but not silence. They simply sat thier, staring at each other, both constantly on the verge of saying something, words crumbling before they could escape their mouths. Emma saw a ring on the coffee table. Someone forgot to use a coaster. Izzy saw a weird cowlick that wasn’t usually in Emma’s short hair. Someone forgot to shower.
“Are you coming to the beach house with us?” Izzy asked.
Emma shrugged. “So you’re going?” she asked.
“Maybe,” Izzy said. “It wouldn’t be the same without you.”
“It wouldn’t be the same without Lilly, either,” Emma said.
“Yeah,” Izzy agreed, “I think you should go.”
“Okay,” Emma said, “Maybe I will.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
They turned to each other and smiled, but Izzy’s returned to a frown first.
“How come you never told anyone?” Izzy asked, “About what happened to us.”
“I assumed you would,” Emma explained, “But then the rumors started to spread and I figured it was better to let things be.”
“Even if those rumors didn’t make you look good?” Izzy asked.
“I tend to look some kind of bad in everyone’s eyes anyway,” Emma said.
“Not me,” Izzy said, “I tried to defend you, but...” She couldn’t think of the words.
“It was easier to just let everyone think what they want, right?” Izzy asked.
“Right,” Emma said.
“So they all think you wanted it,” Izzy said. “That you were pressuring me into having sex, even though I was the one who wanted to.”
“We were nine,” Emma said, “No matter what, we were still young.”
“I know that now,” Izzy said, “And I’m sorry. But I could feel you slipping away and I thought it would keep you around.”
“I wasn’t going anywhere,” Emma said.
“I figured that out eventually,” Izzy said, “But that just made me feel worse, like I pushed yoaway. But after that it felt like it was too late.”
Emma thought about what she said for a moment, and then inched closer to her. “I never stopped caring about you. The whole time I was dealing with Lilly’s death all I wanted was to be with you. But I thought you hated me for rejecting you.”
“I wasn’t mad at you,” Izzy said, leaning closer toward Emma, “And I still care about you too.”
Emma brushed some of Izzy’s hair out of her face and stroked her cheek. She closed her eyes and felt Izzy getting closer. For the first time in a year, the two felt that same old connection again. It was like something had reignited the fire, and Emma was ready to let it burn forever.
And then Izzy backed away.
“But,” Izzy said, “You’re right. We’re still too young. We’re just kids. We don’t have any money, we can’t drive, we still wear diapers.”
“Only at night,” Emma said.
Izzy smiled and nodded. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah,” Emma said, “This past year, I didn’t want a girlfriend. I didn’t need a girlfriend. I just needed a friend. I needed you. Because no matter what I do or say or want, I won’t be a kid forever, and I will grow up. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be happy along the way.”
Izzy smiled. “I was hoping you would say that,” she said, “Because I want to be happy to you. And I don’t need my girlfriend to do that. I need my best friend.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Emma said, “Never again.”
They spent the rest of the day catching up, sharing stories from the past year, and eventually Emma decided to sleep over.
“Do you want to sleep on the floor?” Izzy asked.
“Do you want me to?” Emma asked.
Izzy shook her head.
“Then I won’t.”
As they held each other in bed, Izzy could feel two heart beats. They came one after the other. They both knew, as they drifted off to sleep, that this was exactly what they both wanted all along. It was perfect happiness, without any of the romantic drama holding either of them back. It was good to be friends again, it was all they needed. And after that night, neither of them ever wet the bed again. It just stopped, for both of them, together.
Lilly
Emma opened the door and let everyone in. Mimi, Penny, Nicole, Rena, Abigail, Josie, Susie, and Izzy all entered the beach house. No one had been inside since they were there last. It was dark and quiet, and so they slowly walked around in silence, taking it all in.
This was the place their lives changed forever. Some of them weren’t even there, but Lilly touched each of them in some way or another.
“What’s this?” Emma asked, holding up a small book that was collecting dust under the couch.
“That’s the journal Lilly was writing,” Susie said, “She said she was writing down her-” Suzie stopped herself as she realized exactly what it was.
“Her thoughts,” Emma said.
Josie nodded and said, “Her last thoughts.”
Emma opened it up and read it aloud. “A lot of people like to write ‘Dear Diary’ like they are sending messages to the book. But that’s weird. The diary isn’t even a real person. So instead I think I want to write this book to real person. I choose my friends. Mimi, Penny, Nicole, Rena, Abigail, Josie, Susie, Izzy, and Emma. I’ll probably just end up reading it to you guys one day anyway, so it’s not like it’s secret or private.”
“This is weird,” Mimi said, “We should stop.”
“She just gave us permission to read it,” Abigail said, “Keep going, Emma.”
Emma nodded.
“Dear friends,
“Tomorrow is the last ever episode of Monster Story, I’m so excited I can’t sleep! I know you all think it’s weird that I like this show so much, especially because it’s kind of a boy show. But it’s more than that. It’s special to me, and I think I finally found a way to show you guys too.
“You see, in Monster Story, there are these things called Crests, magical symbols that give all the main monsters the power to change into something powerful. But they’re not just for fighting, they actually represent a part of the kids on the show too. It’s kind of a… what’s that word? Metaphor for how the kids grow up. The Crests show how much they have changed from episode one, ever since their journey started.
“I feel like we’re all just like the kids in Monster Story. We’ve changed so much over the past year, and we’re all so different. So, for fun, I thought it would be cool to match each and every one of you up with one of the Crests from Monster Story.
“I’ll start with Mimi. You’re my best friend and you’re always there when I need you for anything. So you have the Crest of Reliability. That means you can’t ever turn me down if I need help or chocolate, okay?
“Penny, yours is the Crest of Friendship, because, believe it or not, none of us would even be friends if it wasn’t for you. You became friends with Emma who became friends with me and you introduced us to your sister so on and so forth. Without you none of us would even be friends.
“Rena, I’m giving you the Crest of Courage. You stood up to the mean girls and fought for what’s right. It’s perfect for you because you’re brave, your tough, and you like soccer.
“Soccer?” Rena asked, her eyes starting to water.
Emma shrugged and continued.
“Josie, you have the Crest of Knowledge. A lot of people don’t notice this about you, but I can tell that you’re super smart. You’re so young but you know more about this world than any of us ever will.
“Nicole, I don’t think Miss Kathy turned you into a little kid. I think that’s who you always were on the inside, and your daddy’s lifestyle made you be someone you’re not. That’s why you should have the Crest of Sincerity, for always being true to yourself and who you are.
“Abigail, you have the Crest of Kindness. You used to be so mean and nasty but now you’re nice and gentle. To think we spent all these years fighting. I can’t wait to see what being friends with you is like next year and the year after that and after that!”
“Izzy, yours is the Crest of Love, because you always think about others before yourself. You’re sweet and caring and selfless.
“Susie, you get the Crest of Light. You came here to a new place where you didn’t know anybody, and instead of acting shy or scared you were always beaming like a shining star. You almost always had a smile on your face, shining bright.
“I guess I should probably give myself one, huh? I guess I should have the Crest of Hope, because when I was sick and thought I was going to die, you all never gave up hope that I would get better. And now that I’m all better, I hope we can spend the rest of our lives together.
“Oh, Lilly...” Mimi broke down into tears, Abigail held her close.
Emma wiped her eyes and went on.
“And lastly, there’s Emma, and… Well there are only nine characters on Monster Story so there are only nine Crests. But I thought long and hard about this and made up my own Crest just for you. And… and…”
Emma paused, she was smiling, really and truly smiling, for the first time in a very long time, even though there were tears running down her cheeks.
“Go on, Emma,” Izzy said, “What does it say?”
“Yours is the Crest of Harmony, because you always bring peace back into our lives, even if you’re the one who caused all the chaos in the first place. Whenever we’re separated, you bring us together. Whenever there is trouble, you know just what to do. Sometimes we all fight, sometimes we argue, but in the end you know the perfect things to say and do to make sure we’re all one big happy family.”
“Is there anything else?” Mimi asked, everyone else in no position to talk.
Emma nodded and continued.
“Well, that’s everyone. It took longer than I thought, but I think I did good. The sun is coming up, I’ve been awake a really long time. But it’s almost time for the episode. I’m excited, but getting a little tired. I think I’ll rest for a minute. I hope I don’t sleep through the show. I can’t wait to see how it ends.”
Everyone was silent for a moment, no one was even sniffling.
“What should we do now?” Nicole asked.
“I have an idea,” Emma said. “Monster Story is on Netflix, right? Let’s watch it all, together, to the very end.”
Everyone nodded in agreement.
Though they were sad to say one last goodbye to their friend, they knew they could honor her memory by experiencing the thing that made her so happy, the thing she was so dedicated to, the last thing that was on her mind. She was always trying to get them to watch it, and now they knew how important it was to her. And so they decided then to start watching from episode one and not stop until the end.
They were awake for almost the whole weekend, sitting around the TV laughing and crying. And when the final scene ended and the credits rolled for the last time, they were all so exhausted they could barely stay awake.
As they curled up together, they all reflected on what Lilly had written about them. Nicole’s sincerity, Abigail’s kindness, it was all real and Lilly knew about it long before any of them.
They thought about the year they’d had and the adventures they’d been through together. Sometimes it was fun, sometimes it was sad, but in the end they all found something about themselves that they didn’t know was there before. Something that would stay with them for the rest of their lives.
And as they all drifted off to sleep, they finally found themselves in harmony.